Jujy fruits and a song

I'm so totally sitting here on New Years Eve eating Jujy Fruits... and before this, I had popcorn... yep. Livin' on the wild side, I tell ya!! :)

Before Lil M went to bed I sang her "our" song... the song I made up for her when she was a baby... which made me cry, because tomorrow is the new year...and the THIRD we've gotten to spend together. :D 2007-08, 2008-09 and now 2009-10. Very nice. :)

Things are OK here... though, I am still feeling a bit stressed. Hopefully, that feeling will go away soon.

I wish every one of my friends and family a very happy, healthy and blessed New Year!!!

Peace.

Christmas morn

Only a couple of pics for now. Little Miss M with her dora backpack and the stockings...

*T* and Lil M (in front) and Nephew and Sis (in back)

Mama and Lil M... she totally digs the mermaid dora. :)
Sis has my camera and card, so I only had a couple I could show for now. Hopefully, will have better pics in a couple of days.

Peace.

Little changes

I made some little changes to the blog... hopefully, it won't impact anyone I want here. So, I apologize for any inconvenience... (i'm changing the name and url a bit)... if for some reason you can't find me... I'm sorry. But, if for some reason I find that there are those who really should just go away and don't... well, I'll have to take more drastic measures. And, actually, there is only one person who needs to go away (J....).

We had a good Christmas, Lil M and I did. *T* seemed to have a good Christmas, too. She said it was the best she ever had, actually. Then she pushed the envelope of being late tonight (from her family visit) and we had to have a talk about that.

Otherwise, let's see. I talked to the social worker today and she said I might be able to have another week of respite care before taking full placement. I'll find out tomorrow or Monday, but that would really help me. It's not that I can't go ahead and take placement in a couple of days, but I would feel more comfortable waiting to see how it goes for a few more days.

Anyway, Lil M seems to like *T* so far. I think she already realizes she can get away with more with *T* than she can with me... so, I have to reign that in. Lil M got a ton of toys for Christmas and she's got stuff everywhere. Of course, she has had a blast.

I'm in a bit of a mood today... but will hopefully snap out of it soon.

I hope everyone has had a very nice Christmas and a very Happy New Year.

Peace.

Getting settled

So, I have my first foster placement as of today. We'll call her *T*, and she's 17. We're trying to get a little settled. We went to the store first thing, and then went to see my Dad and step-mom. We went to see Christmas lights, and *T* and Lil M seemed to like them. :) I took pics on my phone, but am not sure where I put that cord... so, not sure if I'll be able to get them off soon.

T is 5' 5.5" or so... way taller than me, lol, but who isn't!!! She is slim and seems pretty nice so far. We're trying this out to see if all of us think this will be a good placement for her or not, so she'll be here through Christmas, at least.

I just want to say a huge "thank you" to all of my friends and family... who are absolutely the best. I don't know if T will realize just how big your hearts are... but I hope she does. :)

Anyway, personally, I think it would completely suck to have to move around Christmas, so I'm trying to make this transition as smooth as I can for her. I also don't know what it is like to have a teenager in the house, so let's see how that goes!! LOL. Send up a little prayer for us all, if you want.

Peace.

3 mice and our ornaments...

I have a small box sitting on one of the branches on the Christmas tree... it has 3 mice in it - finger puppets... Mia asked me tonight - Mommy, why do you have a box on the Christmas tree??

....and then proceeded to take me over to see the mice and touch them (actually pet their little heads). haha.

Then I showed her "our" ornaments... two Candy Canes and two Snow Men globes with our names on them... she LOVED that. :D Then she called the red Christmas ornaments apples... I told her we can't eat those. ;-)

A few minutes later she took me back to the Christmas tree to show her "our" ornaments... God, I love that girl. :) (guess i should take a picture, huh?)

ps. i still have a cold (probably why i look so awful in this morning's pic). actually, it's gotten worse. bah. :( i was hanging onto the notion that it was just going to hover, nope. oh well... this too shall pass!! lol

Mommy's strawberry vest

This morning, I had Lil M try on my vest that my Mommaw made for me when I was a young child. It's a little big on her, but too cute. :) SO, I had to take some pics.

At daycare this morning they had Santa come... we didn't quite make it in time for Lil M to see him with her class, 'cause neither of us were feeling that great this morning. I think we're both just struggling to not get full-blown sick. :( But we'll be ok. Anyway, we went into the Pooh room to see him. Lil M wanted nothing to do with him. And she would only go near him with me. Now, I'm not sure if she would have had I not been there, but I was only there to get a couple of pics. And then she decided she'd rather have me. I'm not going to complain. Nor am I going to force her to sit with a stranger (even if it is santa).


Then we went to her room where they had snacks waiting for her and her classmate Audrey. So she had some yogurt, fruit and a donut. She shared a strawberry with me. :) She's so sweet.
Then Lil M and Audrey exchanged their books. Mia got a 123 dry-erase book that's cool. I didn't get a pic of that, though.


Overall, we were just plain late to the party. But I don't think she really cared. She still enjoyed what she got to do, and when I left they were making christmas trees... and what 3 year old doesn't like to use glue? ;-)

Peace.

It's beginning to...

look a lot like Christmas?? Nope, not around here... not just yet, anyway. I left all the Christmas paper Sis and I bought at her house on accident, so tonight I bought a couple of rolls so that I could at least get a few things wrapped before Christmas Eve. Of which, I cannot believe that is next week!!! Oh my.

Lil M told me today that the reason for Christmas was Santa. :( I realize that's what everyone talks about for Christmas, but really Santa is NOT the reason. THIS is why I used to say that I wouldn't do Santa at all... and then I've conceded. But now, I've got to figure out how to start explaining Jesus to my 3 year old... clearly, I haven't been doing my job on that.

And then, on that note... they will have Santa tomorrow at daycare. I was going to put her in a dress for a pic... but now, I'm not. I will be there with her, though.

Now, I don't need everyone to be worried that I am all upset this happened. I was just surprised. And, now I know. And I know that I need to fix it. Because, the Lord Jesus Christ is my savior and I want her to know Him too. I don't mind a bit of Santa... but he is NOT the reason for the season. Jesus is.

Peace.

Cold and a cold

I didn't mean to neglect the blog all week. I was busier than usual, I guess... on Wed. we had a power outage in my area and that sort of stunk. Work and and home the power was out, and man was it cold out! I got chilled and couldn't get warm... the power did come back on after a few hours, but it was a bit stressful, 'cause I got us locked out of the house on accident. (the screen door was locked and I don't have a key... how? not sure...) But it ended up fine. Auntie Ellen came over and checked on us to make sure we were ok, and, thankfully, when she showed up the power had come back on. Thank God. :) So, we all went to dinner... Chinese food. YUM. So, she didn't have to save us or anything, but it was good to have a friend around, that's for sure.

...and then toward the end of the week I ended up with a stupid cold. So, we've been house-bound since Thurs. Oh well. :( We were going to go see the new movie The Princess and the Frog, but I try to not go out when I'm sick. I don't like spreading cooties. Nor, do I really feel like going out when I feel bad. So, we've stayed in.

Lil M is good, but she's a little sniffly too. Hoping I'll feel better by tomorrow.... I imagine she will be, 'cause she's just a little sniffly.

She's been liking to read The Three Little Pigs... I'll puff and I'll puff... (instead of huff and puff), lol. And now she's playing a little spider in her spider suit. lol. I'm calling her my little miss spidey and she's singing the itsy bitsy spider song.

Peace.

Christmas party

We had a nice time at the Christmas party Friday night. A friend took some pics of Lil M trying to play this horn... (taken on an iphone)

Left to right, Andrew, me, Greg, Tanya, Mike, Kim and Mia in front. Andrew, Greg and Mike and I are co-workers. Tanya and Kim are spouses. For some reason, Andrew's wife didn't get in the pic! But Lil M did!! :)

Peace.

Find My Family - show

This article sums up how I feel about ABC's new show Find My Family.

Read the article here.

If you have adopted, you might feel like I do. This show is so sensationalized and makes it seem like the only thing that matters to an adoptee is finding their birth family. I'm not an adoptee, but people are more complex than that. Oi.

That being said, I do want Lil M to know it is OK for her to search if/when she ever wants to. It's just that I don't agree with the media perpetuating the idea that an adoptive family's relationship to their child isn't 'as good as'....

Peace.

TGIF

It's Friday... we made it to Friday. lol :) I shouldn't be so excited about that, huh?! Tonight is our work Christmas party. My no-longer-boss is having it at his (and wife's) house. It should be fun, and sad at the same time. I will be taking Lil M. Although, a few other folks said they aren't bringing their kids, so I wonder if it is a good idea. Oh well. I think it'll be fine. If not, we'll leave, I guess. The only question is what are Lil M and I going to wear. I haven't even had a chance to think about that all week.

Let's see, what else? I ran last night on the TM. 3.1 miles... it went alright. I need to get back into a routine, at least somewhat of one. IF I can get into routine soon, I can do at least a couple of half-marathons in the spring. Let's see how it goes... We're doing this walking pedometer thing at work, where from now until the middle of February everyone (who wanted to participate) is wearing a pedometer every day and counting our steps. I don't want to let my teammates down, so I felt like I should get on the TM. Maybe it'll get me into a routine.

Peace.

A bit bummed

Yesterday, we got bad news at work... my boss was leaving. And none of us wanted him to go, but we didn't get a say... of course. I am not a fan of big changes... let alone, having someone I actually like working for every day leave. So, I'm a bit bummed out. (actually, more than a bit right now) ...And, will likely be so for awhile. Oh well. What can you do, right?!

I still have a job. So, I'm thankful for that.

It's just that a job is better when you like who you are working for. Not to say I won't like the next person, but Greg and I just got along well. He's a good guy.

The other thing that has me a bit upset is the fact that our daycare is taking away a full weeks worth of vacation coupons next year. That's just BS. I mean, seriously. That's a whole $155 worth, for me... gone. :( Oh, and I wouldn't have even realized, except my friend MK read the email they sent and there was an additional attachment with the news. Ugh.

Other than that... Lil M and I are doing fine. She's still not doing as well with overnight potty training as I had hoped... but we'll get there. :)

Peace.

QA Engineer Recalibrator

This would have been a good one for Wordless Wednesday...

My co-workers (developers) decided I needed a QA Engineer Recalibrator (i break things)... to beat them over the head (apparently, I can be tough on them sometimes, lol).

So,they got me this new tool:




Yep. That's a sledgehammer. ;-) Bet'cha that you've never gotten one of those at work!!

Peace.

Channeling my Grandmother

So, the past few weeks... I've been baking. And baking... and baking. :) I think I'm channeling Mommaw. She was a great cook, and I loved her baking.

Tonight, specifically, I made 4 loaves of pumpkin bread, some muffins, a pumpkin pie and, now, a transparent pie. Transparent pie is one of Mommaw's pies... and it has the flavor of chess pie or pecan pie, but the texture is different and there are no nuts. I'm hoping the pies turn out OK. It's the first time in years I've attempted home-made pies...

The bread, on the other hand, is great. :) That I do know!

Why so much baking? Well, I had a large pumpkin and 3 butternut squash that I got from our jaunt to the Pumpkin farm last month. I wanted to use it. So, I did. :) Someone will eat it. I might even try to freeze one of the loaves of bread and see how it handles when it defrosts later. I was very pleased with the bread recipe.

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving!!! May you be safe and blessed.

Peace.

The Big Giant Movie

Lil M and I went to see The Blind Side yesterday, at the movie theatre. She called it the Big Giant Movie. Overall, she did fantastic sitting through the whole thing (except fidgety for about the last 10-20 minutes)...and she didn't care for it being so LOUD. (covered her ears more than once)

The movie was great. It is about Michael Oher (an NFL football player for Baltimore) and his move into a white family during his teen years. It was inspiring, yes. It was inspiring because of his attitude and of his new family and their attitude, too. Very interesting, actually. So many people say that white families shouldn't adopt black children. And, while, I understand the argument, I do believe that it is more a case by case situation rather than a blanket one. In this case, it didn't seem to matter what "color" either Michael or his family were. It seemed more a situation of the right place, right time... to help them all learn and help him to succeed. And, by that, I don't mean NFL. I just mean, in general.

I can't wait to read the book, and have put it on my wish list (from Sis) for Christmas. The movie made me cry, of course. And you know the end when you go in... he's a success story (from an NFL perspective), of course. But he seems to be a genuinely beautiful person. I like that.

Tiny spoiler, but not really ... One thing I thought was cute was when they asked if Michael would like to join their family, and he said he thought he already had. :) (of course, i am not sure if they officially adopted him or not, or just became his legal guardians... they didn't use the word adoption. I need to look that up). Oh, and when he called LeeAnn... Mama. Awwww. And how she sought out his Mom. Really, the whole dang movie... great. I really hope everyone sees it!! :)

I just might have to start watching football. On a 'big giant' tv, just for Lil M... but with the volume turned down!! :) Of course, that'd require buying a big giant tv...

Peace.

Toddler Bed

Lil M has been sleeping in her crib up until tonight... tonight, she's in her new (to her) toddler bed, thanks to my friend at work! Her son, who is 5, just graduated to a big bed... and so she gave me his toddler bed! :)


My baby is growing up! Let's see how she does tonight. :) Her very first-ever night in her big-girl bed!! I guess I should get her something cute to make her bed look special, huh? She seemed pretty excited, so I hope this goes over well!

I think we're going to see the new movie The Blind Side tomorrow. This is still National Adoption Month... and tomorrow, the 21st, is National Adoption Day!! The Blind Side is the movie with Sandra Bullock that is about a successful older child adoption. Please go see it!! :)

Peace.

Sensitive

So, I've been told for a long time by certain people that I'm "too sensitive" when it comes to my daughter (race, adoption). And all I can say to this is... I'd rather be too sensitive than not be sensitive enough. Of course, you wish you could be perfect... but that I'm not.

I do care when people make racial comments (Chinese or other). I think in today's world it is completely inappropriate and rude. I don't really care if you're old and/or not in the know. Learn how to be nice.

I do care when people make adoptive families out to not be 'real' families... (like that new show called "find my family"... that infers that the family you've been with your whole life isn't important.

I do care when people say insensitive things, and while I realize I can't always be there to protect my daughter... and it isn't my responsibility to educate the whole world... It still bothers me, and I can't help but to react.

So there. I'm sensitive. Whatever. Sue me. What's YOUR issue? Surely, you're not perfect either.

Of course, that's just my opinion... and, I'm entitled to it.

Peace.

Piece of advice

When someone you know has adopted from China (and you sit 3 cubes away from them at work)... don't LOUDLY proclaim you don't want to go to the Chinese restaurant for your company Christmas luncheon because "You're Not Chinese". It's rude.

Ok... now that I got that out.... besides the ex-bil thing... we're doing OK here. :) Now, if only I could figure out how to get all the laundry put away (i get it washed, dried and folded, mind you)... and the furniture dusted and floors vacuumed... oh wait, get off your lazy arse silly and just do it...

Couldn't I just hire a Maid Service?

Nope. Money don't grow on trees around here, chick-a-dee. ;-)

Lil M helped me bag up about 9 bags of leaves last night. (i didn't actually count, but it was a ton) She was super helpful! I would have taken pics ('cause you know I always do!), but we were in a time crunch (since I refused to work on them this past weekend, LOL)

I also baked the huge pumpkin we got at the pumpkin patch last month. It will make some yummy treats. I started off with a pumpkin/raisin custard... and that turned out pretty good. Next, maybe oatmeal-pumpkin cookies...

See, that's why I haven't gotten the more boring, mundane, ALWAYS there, normal chores done yet! ;-)

Peace.

At it again

(rant)

Well, Jacka$ is at it again. He's filed an appeal against Sis winning the divorce hearing. OMG. It won't ever end, I guess. I have no idea his chances of winning, but let me say this... he's still LYING his ass off.

It makes me so mad, I could spit.

I don't feel like I can write much about it, and he's insinuated he has read my blog (and supposedly what Sis writes about somewhere...?)... I'm almost to the point of locking my blog down for awhile, or forever... or moving it. :( And I don't want to do that, really.

(end rant)

Peace.

3 YO Pics... kinda late

So, Lil M turned 3 in August... well, I didn't have any official pics taken then, but we did today. Here are a few.





Peace.

Where I am today

I went out with someone last night that I've known for several years, and one of the first things he said was - You haven't changed (aged) a bit! How is that possible? (not a direct quote, but pretty close, i think). It had been 4 years since we'd last seen each other in person.

That was a compliment... I think. I don't think I look like a freak or anything! LOL (i know he meant it as a compliment, and i took it as pleasant surprise that i didn't look old and decrepit)

When I told him I avoid the sun, I think he was surprised... he thought I just meant I work indoors. Nope. I use sunscreen, every single day (in my face lotion)... I even try to use real sunscreen if I'm going to be out for any real length of time. Or I stay in the shade. Or both. ;-)

Anyway, I don't do anything super special... and I do thank God that I have always had good skin. I try to take care of it as best I can.

On another note...while I had a good time last night, I'm still mourning the loss of what was just a few weeks ago. And I wish I didn't have to work today... I might even try to get out of here a bit early. Pensive today, and it won't likely go away on it's own.

Peace.

Appreciation

I really appreciate and love my family and friends. Especially some of you... you know who you are... you are the ones who always have my back. Checking on me... reassuring me when I'm feeling down. Rallying behind/beside me when I want to do something crazy. ;-) I just wanted to give you all a shout out... well, 'cause I can. :)

I'm off tomorrow for Veteran's day. I am glad for the time off, but I'm also thankful for our Veterans. Without them... we wouldn't be "free". God Bless America.

Let's see... I leaf-blew my leaves last night... and need to get them bagged. So, praying it doesn't rain... I'll do that tomorrow. I also need to get some laundry done... well, put away. And, of course, house cleaning. Specifically...the floors, oh boy.

Lil M was funny tonight... I went to go upstairs and she kept telling the dogs... That's MY Mommy. Don't touch MY Mommy... Stay away from MY Mommy.... that's MY Mommy's coffee, Skippy... it's not yours... LOL very cute, and protective she is.

Peace.

Orphan Sunday

Part of National Adoption Month this year includes a day to prayerfully consider our world's orphans; that day is today. Today is Orphan Sunday.

To me, this means thinking about and praying for all the children in need here at home, and abroad. Is there something you can do to help even just one?

Family reunification?
Adoption?
Foster care?
Sponsoring?
Big Brother/Big Sister?
Volunteering?
Supporting a friend who is a Social Worker?
Praying?

Please consider all children in need today!

Cry of the Orphan event in Nashville at 4pm CST as a Webcast! We can all be a part of this event...

Peace.

Emotions

I'm having a bit of a rough night... thankfully, the days are getting a little better, but for some reason today's been worse. Having one of those poor-pity-me evenings... you know, when you don't feel like you can ever do anything right?

So, let's see, here are some general thoughts I've had today:

Why am I here again? I mean... alone. What is my problem? Why can't I seem to get it right?

Thank God that Mia hasn't been asking about Scott. Not in a few days, anyway, so that has been a little comforting. I know she will say something at some point, but I'm just glad she isn't for now. That's right. She'll get over him, too. Frankly, I can't wait, because I think he was a real asshole how he ended things.

The whole thing still makes me completely sick to my stomach. And angry. And sad. And, I'm trying to work through it... because, well, I have to. So, this is just another general vent about the whole situation.

On the other hand, let's see... Lil M is just as sweet as ever. I already posted the pics from today. I think her wanting to sit in her swing tonight (for the first time in months) was kind of what brought up some of these emotions for me. He bought her that swing... at the same time. It is just a swing. And I'm trying to take the emotional part away from it, because it isn't worth all that effort.

On the potty front... she's been doing well. She had a daytime accident for the first time in MONTHS the other day, but it was the only one. It was just a little accident. Overnight, she's been doing well, too. She had two wet nights this week, so far, so that's not too bad. :) I know she "gets it" mostly... and it's going to take time to be 100% dry. I actually think she's doing great!

Now, let's hope for another dry night and no talking about you-know-who anytime soon. Oh, and sleep. I slept for crap last night. :( I really need to get back on track with that. I haven't been doing so well for awhile now, and this situation hasn't made it any better. So, here's to less stress and more sleep.

Peace.

Lil M and her swing

Lil M and her BFF MK2... they were playing with "her" phone this morning...
Ok, Lil M cracks me up. I have left her baby swing sitting in the family room for months... and she's getting kind of big to swing in it.... I mean, technically, she still weighs under the max weight for the swing... but she is 3 now!! I just hadn't put it in the shed... Here's the proof. ;-)



Oh, and the mark on her face was from a fall on the sidewalk at daycare. :( But, of course, she's fine!

Peace.

Asian American Perspective

I've often wondered just how much "culture" I was/am supposed to incorporate/teach to my daughter... of course, I really have no idea. And I believe culture is not something learned like the ABC's, but more instilled in us... And don't get me wrong, even though I haven't tried too much yet, due to my daughter's age, I do plan to take her to Chinese school, FCC events, and any type of cultural events I can find. Well, that's the plan. Sort of feels superficial to me, but it can't hurt to try. Right?

This article written by an adoptee, tells me that some adoptees might feel the way that I thought they might... that being Asian American is what should be looked at more closely (not saying to not try to incorporate cultural identity).

Still, I'm willing to bet that many adoptees - if they are anything like me - will end up relating more to the Asian American experience than to the traditions in a far-off land that they have no memory of.

When I was a teen I had no interest in Taiwan or my Chinese birth family. As a young adult, I met my birth family. I bonded with my biological sisters, felt intoxicated with the bustling city of Taipei and learned Mandarin. Still, I came to understand I don't "fit in" completely. For me, the language, cultural and emotional barriers are simply too great.

Parents who ask me "how much culture" they think they should "give" their children must remember: culture is not inborn. It's organic and must evolve over time. While it's important to embrace where a child comes from, it is also essential to recognize that their current experience as an Asian in America is just as authentic and interesting as the one they might have had in the land of their birth.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/opinions/2009/11/06/2009-11-06_its_dangerous_to_push_culture_on_adopted_kids.html#ixzz0W6Ssa8MB - Hopgood is a journalist and author of "Lucky Girl" (Algonquin Books), a memoir about her relationship with her birth parents.

Anyway, just more thoughts for National Adoption Month. :) I certainly want and will try to the best of my ability to help foster my daughter's identity. However she wants to look at herself and our situation, and her own life story.

Peace.

National Adoption Month

So, November is National Adoption Month. I've been posting on FB different links and ways to participate in this month as an advocate for adoption. I will continue to do that here, too, for the rest of the month.

Today - I ask anyone who reads this to please send up a prayer for all the children who need homes, for whatever reason. To think that we have 143 million children in the world (i'll double-check that, but not right this second) that are orphans or in need of a family is just beyond terrible.

God bless the children. Please move our hearts to help them wherever, however, whenever we can.

For me, I didn't adopt to save a child. But I do realize that there are so many children in need, and I can see how that would be a reason to adopt. But even if you sponsor a child or an adoption agency... those things are helpful, too! The link and picture to An Orphan's Wish is one such agency that you can sponsor an individual child with special needs. And...make a difference.

Peace.

Weekend Update

Lil M had fun last night going trick or treating with Aiyee Mimi and Geempa (grandpa). I let her wear her costume all day yesterday and she really seemed to enjoy that, too.

Here's the one pic I liked from the pumpkin patch that I didn't get posted before.

Lil M and grandpa went trick or treating...

Lil M and Aiyee Mimi go trick-or-treating...


I'm still having a rough time this weekend, but I guess I'll have to figure how to get over it at some point.

Peace.

Oct 31 LID anniversary and Halloween

Today, 4 years ago was my log-in date to China. My LID. It was a very special day then, and it is just as special now!! For all those who are still waiting... please know I send up prayers for you and your families!!!

Happiest of Halloweens to all!!!

Peace.

Halloween Week

Lil M's Halloween party at school (daycare) was today. They are allowed to wear orange or something 'halloween', but not a costume. So, I thought I'd give the Bengals jersey one more go!!! AND IT FIT! ;-) Of course, it's a snad short... but I did put a black turtle neck under it to keep her a bit warmer anyway. It still looked darn cute!! :)






An added bonus pic - this is from last October at a Bengal's game (notice the same jersey). I'm shocked now that it fit at all!! LOL
Peace.

Single Again

Well, apparently Scott has decided to move on. I wasn't going to talk about it here or anywhere for that matter, but since he's removed me (or himself) from FB and doesn't seem to want to have any contact with me, I'm guessing it doesn't matter much what I say anywhere.

So, there you have it. I'm single again. I thought somehow that 2 years with someone would mean something and that we'd work through any issues we had, but clearly I was wrong. And, on top of it... he's just gone.

I realize I'm not technically alone because I do have Lil M, but I did love him... even if we were having difficulties. And, now I'm alone again. Again. Well, just me and Mia, anyway. Which, is probably for the best.

And what I've been suspecting for awhile now is that he didn't really love me. I believe he was here out of convenience and that wore off. And he likes to be alone (or so he has told me). What is even worse, is that I do know he cared for Lil M. But, clearly, that doesn't mean anything either.

If I was a cold-hearted bitch, I would have dumped his ass when he told me he would not, in no uncertain terms, raise a black child. (as a single adoptive parent, there are only a limited amount of choices, and Ethiopia is one of them, but he vehemently objected. he also objected to having a baby. oh, and no boys.)

But I didn't. Maybe he realized that Lil M *is* actually Asian and *is* different from himself and couldn't bear to take her in public either. Who knows.

Or. He just wasn't that into me.

You have no idea how upset I am right now. This is just ridiculous.

Peace.

New bets...

Ok, so no one actually bet on how long Lil M would stay dry... last night was not a good night for her. She woke up really wet. Oh well.. onto a new day and we'll see how she does tonight! She might be asking for a pull-up tonight. LOL.

Looks like I might get a placement moderately soon with my foster/adoption agency. I will likely take a foster situation first, and see how that goes. I am still in the family-building stage, so I am still looking to adopt number 2, but with this agency we'll see how it goes.

Peace.

Bets on dryness

Anyone wanna take some bets on how many nights (starting tonight) Lil M can go without being wet in the morning? Or shall I say... dry nights?!

Her longest that I've officially counted was 3 out of 4... and I'm going to count all this week.... might even have to get her something special if she can go more than 4 days straight!

I have Meow and Monkey sitting here with me... Lil M is sleeping... I get to be the keeper tonight of her favorite animals. I need them. It's been a long day.

Peace.

Weekend update

I made some quick type bread tonight, from scratch, as they say. It turned out really well, even though I modified the recipe (on purpose). I think next time I might add a smidge less sugar. Or use brown sugar instead or something... but other than that... it turned out well and I'm glad to be baking again. :)

Lil M had 3 nights of dryness, and then last night she wasn't. Oh well. I had a feeling it wouldn't keep forever! LOL. Let's see how she does tonight. I'm happy she can go 3 nights in a row... and hopefully we can up that this week or soon, at least.

I didn't really do the chores that I should have done today... but there is always tomorrow. We'll likely run to the store and then I need to get some other things done around here. It if doesn't rain, I'll mow the yard. Oh boy.

Peace.

Overnight PT

So, Lil M has taken to not wearing a pull-up this week overnights... she had 2 out of 3 dry nights, and I'm praying tonight'll be a 3rd. :) *crossing fingers* She seems fairly ready for this new endeavor. As you can imagine, Mommy is quite pleased. :) Well, except for when she has accidents. But she is learning!

Actually, this Mommy is quite pleased when it comes to most-every-single-thing-having-to-do-with-Lil-M!! ;-) yep, had to put that in there.

So, I got part of my sewing room cleaned out a little bit today. Will go buy some bins tomorrow and organize my fabric...then figure out where to store it! :D Actually, it feels good to finally do something with it again, even it if is just re-organizing it so far! I found some fun stuff that I think I could do great things with for Christmas... if I could just get off my lazy butt to sew anything. ;-)

I fell down the stairs last night, didn't hurt myself too bad, but I did pull a muscle in my arm it seems and my left shoulder is a bit out of whack. Nothing a little ibuprofen doesn't help.

Update on possible placement, I'm waiting to hear if the State will even let me foster the boy because I don't have my medically fragile training yet. Might hear tomorrow. Or might not. What is funny about this (not so haha) is that I am not a patient person. Unless, it comes to big ticket things like... waiting for adoption or children. Go figure. ;-) Who'da thunk it?!

Peace.

Quilting and fabric

I have TOO Much fabric. I'll just tell ya now, I have enough fabric for probably 10 women. No joke. In order for me to get this room ready for any child, let alone doing respite, I've GOT to get this fabric under control... at least put away in bins. So, my goal today is to get some bins and start moving it. I'm also going to have Sis put some of it on eBay, because there are certain pieces I'm sure I won't use. Not that any of it is bad. It's just that I really just have too much. I can't hardly get in there and sew.... wait, that's probably why I haven't gotten in there to sew!! So, wish me luck. :)

I'd love to get in that room, or in my sewing spot (wherever that ends up) and make some new pillows and some lap quilts for Christmas. So, sort, sort, sort I must!!

Still haven't made a firm decision about the little boy. I'm scared of the diabetes... I'm going to try to call my agency today and talk to them about it more. But, regardless, if there is to ever be a number 2, there has to be room made.

**I have thought today, though, that even though the Diabetes scares me, I think it is just the reality of a 2nd right now that makes me nervous. I think that would be any child. :) So, I'm still waiting to hopefully meet him and see if it is a good match. I'm thinking that if his attitude isn't super difficult then it wouldn't be as bad as I've been letting myself think it might be. You know what I mean? Lil M has a very easy-going personality... I think that having a child with a super-difficult personality would be more of a challenge for ME than having to help him with his food/medical issues. Of course, I could be wrong.

Peace.

Respite

I might have the opportunity to take a young boy for respite care this weekend or next. Actually, they've asked me to consider fostering him, but I'm not sure yet... he has type I diabetes (juvenile, inherited type) and I'm a little scared of that responsibility. However, he is old enough to give himself his own shots and mostly needs supervision in that area.

Sis is concerned I might take on too much. She says, I can never do anything small... always has to be big... but I didn't pick this one, they picked me. Regardless, she is right and I do not want to get into a situation where I'm too overwhelmed. But I am seriously considering the respite at least and see if it would even be something I could handle. Plus, they have to accept me, too, at the state level because of his medical condition. So, might not work out after all.

Any thoughts or prayers are welcome.

So, how does this work for me? Well, in everything, I take it up in prayer... simply put, I talk to God about it. I do have a few trusted friends/relatives that also help, but I'm a big prayer gal. With prayer, the thing you must always remember... it is God's time and you need to actually listen after you've asked the question. Please go check out the other ideas here.

Peace.

Pumpkin Patch

Today we went to a pumpkin patch in NKY. The MK's went with us and we had fun picking out little pumpkins and a 'big huge pumpkin'...lol

Lil M wore her cute little poncho and got to feed the animals 'popcorn' (she calls all corn popcorn!!)....


Peace.

Apology

I need to put out an apology to my family from last night. I vented some things on here that really hurt their feelings and that was not my intent. I took the post down and I hope they can forgive me my harsh words. I also send the one person who responded to the post an apology in an email...

Anyway, family is hugely important to me, and I will try to communicate my feelings better in the future.

As for us, we're going to the pumpkin patch now, I think...

Peace.

Not much goin' on

This week has been fairly uneventful... well, work is busier for me and I haven't gotten enough house work done...

Let's see, the washing machine doesn't seem to be agitating like it should on the spin cycle, and to have it looked at a 2nd time this year seems stupid (it's $129 just for them to come out, parts not included) and I think it might be time to look at getting a new one. Oh boy.

Oh, and it seems like there might be some fleas in the family room. :( So, I've put more Frontline on the dogs and put some flea stuff on the carpet twice now. Looks, like I might have to do more... ugh.

Yep, it's that fun! Ha.

This weekend is my high school reunion weekend. Tomorrow is supposed to be a football game, but it looks like it is going to rain. So, we might not go. Then, Saturday my Dad is going to watch Lil M and Nephew and Sis and I are going to go to the official reunion. Of course, I'll post pics if I take any! LOL

Peace.

I am THAT Mom

Not to steal the blog title from my fellow blogger... but "I" am THAT Mom....

You know the one...

I want to know if my daughter took a nap.
I want to know what she had for lunch.
I want to know what she did during the day (when she isn't with me).
I do care about how much sugar and junk she's eaten.
I do expect her to sit still and behave when necessary.
I do expect her to eat dinner and sit at the table.
I do expect her to follow some simple, basic rules.

The first two items on my list are a challenge every single day with the daycare. You'd think that after over 2 years of going there they'd ALL know that *I* want to know these things every.single.day. But no. I still go some days and no one can tell me if Lil M had a nap.

Now, you're saying... why not just ask her? Well, she doesn't always tell me the correct answer. I don't think she's trying to lie to me, but she DOES know that Mommy wants to know and it will make Mommy happy if she did take a nap. So, of course, she's going to say yes! LOL.

Peace.

Licensure!!

I'm so excited... I thought I was going to have to get the dogs to the vet today or tomorrow to finish my foster parent licensure... but they just needed the rabies proof (which lasts until 2011 for my dogs). So, they went ahead and are licencing me today!!!!

WOOOHOOOO!

I'm so excited!!!!!!

It will be awhile, maybe, who knows... to get a referral or to be asked to foster a child, but the licensure is complete today!!!! :D I guess I'm now a Foster (hoping foster/adoptive) Parent in waiting for this agency.

Now, onto figuring out this Kazakhstan thing. One thing at a time, right? ;-)

Happy, happy dance!

Peace.

Grocery Challenge Finale

Ok, I went over my $100 budget for groceries this month. I spent $184.

Now, before we all think I just completely bagged it, $50 of that was for a prescription not counted toward my flex account because I've hit that limit. Ugh. So that brings it to $134.

I did not really add dog food, cat food and cat litter into my original calculation. And, boy, does this you perspective on what you spend for 3 animals in a month! I spent $20 (dog food) + $12 (cat litter) and $0 for cat food, 'cause I had enough for the month. So, that's $32.

I'm down to $102. Not too bad. Right? ;-)

Next time, I'll see if I can figure out the other stuff. You know, the dinners out. I didn't add that in. But overall, it was probably about $200 for the month. And, frankly, for the two of us... for 3 meals a day for me, 2 meals a day for her, and snacks... plus the 3 animals. I guess I can live with that! :D

Go see how the other challengers did!






Peace.

WFMW - less meat

People who know me know that I have not eaten beef or pork for probably 15 years or so. There were reasons for this, but suffice to say, I don't care for either of them, and I don't eat them. This works for me.

When Lil M came into the picture, I made the decision to follow this same rule, principal for the both of us. It is what I want. So, what does this mean for her? Well, it means that she doesn't eat crap like bologna or hot dogs or meatloaf or hamburgers, unless they are made of Turkey. And she eats more beans. We eat a lot of beans. In a lot of different things. We just don't eat beef or pork.

For example, take spaghetti. Use your regular sauce and add one can of black beans to it. Yum.

Same thing with goulash (made with ground turkey). Add a can of beans. We use a lot of chicken, turkey and fish in our diet. Oh, and the same this with stir-fry... I add a can of red beans. It doesn't have to be all beans, or a ton of them to add the benefits. Sometimes we don't eat meat at all.

Last night I cooked a can of Lentil soup, put that on top of noodles. Then I added hot sauce and grated sharp cheddar cheese. Sort of a 3-way as it is known around here. :) Just a vegetarian 3-way. YUM.

I am having a little difficulty with daycare. They have given Lil M beef or pork in the past month. Yesterday, they gave her bologna. Thankfully, I found out that it is actually turkey bologna. Or, I would have been really mad. I just want them to abide by my dietary wishes. I've made my requirements/wishes known since day 1, so let's see if it continues. (it better not)

That's what works for me. Go check out the other great ideas.

Peace.

Weekend

It's been a pretty crappy weekend. I mean, the good news from Thursday is still awesome and that has been on my mind... but otherwise, the rain and some personal things have gotten in the way of having a decent weekend.

Looks like the rain is gone for now, though, so maybe the week will be better.

Lil M did like the little trip we took out to an Alpaca farm. We'll do more things like that this fall.

Peace.

The Decision is Final and Posted

I'm so thankful it is Friday.

We finally got the news yesterday that Sis' divorce decisions have been made by the Judge. All that is left is to wait for the actual decree, but according to the decision document, the divorce is final. It's finally over. (breathing sigh of relief over here)

Wow.

This really long, depressing, difficult, awful journey started in February of 2007. Yep, 2.5 years ago. It started with EX-bil's 2nd drunk driving offense.

Sis did not want this divorce, but apparently he did. And he lied and lied and lied to everyone about everything for that entire time, trying to ruin Sis. That was his one and only ultimate goal. To ruin her. (oh, and to shack up with some skanky bitch, but that's a different story).

But he did NOT ruin her!

We finally won. God prevailed.

It is so hard to explain to people who don't know the situation just how rough it's been. It's really hard to explain to people who are close to us even... But it is a HUGE relief that she was finally heard and believed. That not just one judge, but two (another issue involving jackass' girlfriend) judges came to the same conclusion - JAKE IS A LIAR. He is required to go to alcohol counseling. His girlfriend has aggravated menacing charges against her for threatening Sis' life. Sis was awarded the protection order she needed. whew.

But the biggie - My sister was granted full custody, with support and all. She finally won. SHE WON. OMG. It still feels surreal, but it is real. :D We have waited for this day for 2.5 years. Years.

I am so glad we didn't give up. Even in the darkest days, we fought for the truth. We fought for Chase. We fought for Sis. And we finally overcame the evil that is Jason or Jake or whatever he wants to go by.

I can't tell you just how overwhelmingly happy I am right now. And relieved. It is finally over. This is the day we've been waiting for. Chase will be safe. Sis will get restitution or Jake will be in even more trouble. Christina (the psycho girlfriend) will have to stay away, or she will go to jail.

It is a good day. Thank you God.

I want to thank all of our close friends for their undying support and prayers. We love you all.

Peace.

Chinese language

I copied this information from a fellow blogger, so I could use it and would have it on hand. :)

For the net

http://www.chinese4kids.net/

For CDs

Tuttle Chinese for Kids (Love this because it comes with flash cards)Not only flash cards but lots of sentences as well, this is a car favorite.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=tuttle+chinese+for+kids

Mei Mei and Jade (Audio and DVDs)

http://www.meimeiandme.com/index.html

http://www.followjade.com/videos/index.shtml

More DVDs

The Language Tree Mandarin

http://www.language-tree.com/mandarin.html

Early Start Mandarin with Bao Bei (cheesy production but good vocab)

http://www.myearlystart.com/index.html

One Child Policy Guangxi

This article is from 2007, but that is when Lil M's adoption was final. Very, very disturbing. :(

New Violence Hits Southern China Over Family Planning Policy
By VOA News 30 May 2007

Enforcement of China's strict family planning policy has sparked more riots in the southern Guangxi region.

The state-run Xinhua news agency says protests erupted again Tuesday, the second outbreak in the region this month.

More than 100 police were called into the town of Yangmei after residents ransacked the local government headquarters, surrounded the population control office and burned police cars. Violence was also reported in the town of Lingshan where residents protested outside the local government office.

Unrest first erupted two weeks ago in rural parts of Guangxi over what residents say are the brutal methods used by local officials to enforce the "one child" policy.

Residents say the authorities have forced abortions, confiscated property, and imposed heavy fines on families having more children than the policy allows.

Under China's one-child policy, started in the late 1970s, most families are allowed only one child. Families in rural areas are allowed two, especially if the first child is a girl. Abortions have risen due to the policy.

China has the world's highest population at 1.3 billion people.

Some information for this report was provided by AFP, AP and Reuters.

You can find the article here and here.

Peace.

Ethnic Minorities in China

Here's another article about minority groups in China. It is noted that there are 55 minority groups in China. My daughter does not appear to be Han, which is the majority group in China. Therefore, I've been doing a bit of research on the minority groups.

The term Ethnic Minorities is theirs, not mine.

China Daily

The total population of Guangxi has grown rapidly over the past decades, increasing from 18.45 million in 1949 to 44.89 million in 2000. From 1982 to 1990, a total of 5.824 million people were added to its total population, producing an average annual growth rate of 1.87%. From 1990 to 2000, growth in persons were 2.64 million, the growth rate was 6.26% and the annual growth rate was 0.59%. In addition, with ethnic populations accounting 38.34% of its total, Guangxi is one of the four provinces (autonomous regions) in China with an ethnic population of more than 10 million, and the autonomous region with the largest ethnic population.

Most of Guangxi's population resides in the southern and southeastern parts of the region; the northern and southwestern parts are sparsely populated. Great differences exist in population distribution and density between urban and rural areas. Ethnic minorities are concentrated in the west and northwestern hilly areas, while most Han people live in the northeastern and southeastern plain areas. In 2000, the population density was 190 persons/sq.km.

This was quoted from another article here, and here is another good one.

Peace.

Rice harvest Guangxi

This post is more for myself and my little one... I found an article about Guangxi and thought I should keep it.

Updated: 2009-09-07 09:51

Farmers working in the rice fields in Pingle Yao ethnic Township of Fengshan county, southwest China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, September 6, 2009. Middle-season rice is harvested in Fengshan. [Xinhua]

A farmer harvests paddy stalks in her rice field in Pingle Yao ethnic Township of Fengshan county, southwest China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, September 6, 2009.[Xinhua]

Farmers carry sacks of rice along the rice field in Pingle Yao ethnic Township of Fengshan county, southwest China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, September 6, 2009. [Xinhua]

Farmers harvest paddy stalks in the rice fields of Pingle Yao ethnic Township of Fengshan county, southwest China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, September 6, 2009.[Xinhua]

Farmers work in rice fields in Pingle Yao ethnic Township of Fengshan county, southwest China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, September 6, 2009.[Xinhua]

here's a link to the article

Peace.