Friday, June 6, 2008

This is how I feel... except the Bio part...

Since I don't have bio children... I can't comment on the difference between bio/adopted situations... but I thought this was a Great post... (i haven't asked permission to share it, but I hope it is ok!!) And I agree from an A-parent perspective.


This post is on the same lines of what I've been thinking this week.

It's like... you want to be a good parent... just a good parent. Not a-parent... not always have to use the word 'adopted'... like it is a present situation... it's HOW she entered my family, but not a disease or something that continues to happen... which might offend some... "I KNOW" she was adopted. I know it is the same but different from other ways people build their families. But that does not make it any less real for me or for Lil M. Maybe it will later. She will have her own thoughts and ideas about this, and I hope to show her that I am as open-minded and understanding as she struggles through whatever she's going to struggle through.

I do not belittle her past. I do not minimize the hurt she probably feels down inside her little heart. I do get frustrated sometimes...and that's with my own inadequacies...

(sort of a tangent coming) I have figured out that one of my problems this year has been the "Let Down"... Marathon Blues... it is like when you run a marathon (which I've done many times), and you've trained so hard and long for that ONE race... you feel a let down when it is done. WHAT IS NEXT? You ask yourself??? I think I'm going through that here. She's HOME. What now?! ;-) (ok, now I do realize that sounds idiotic. of course we're home... we've home almost a full YEAR!!!! LOL i'm a little slow on the uptake!!)

Do I add to our family? Am I ready for that? Do I find something else to do... like those hobbies I mentioned... Now that I know this is where part of my feelings have stemmed from, I think I can find a remedy...

I'm a GOAL-ORIENTED person! I have no current goal... I have life. I have my fun daughter and animals... but that's normal day stuff... :) I need a goal. To finish something ... like a quilt or a race. So, I'm going to try to get on that horse again.


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