Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thanksgiving et al

We went to my sister's house for Thanksgiving. It was great! She cooked for Scott, Mia, Brian and I. We ate well. :) I have so much to be thankful for, especially my family.

We had dinner with some friends last night, and did TONS of shopping early yesterday! We had a great Black Friday... and then met my friend Kay today and did a little more. :) I should be about 90% done with my Christmas shopping. I even got a new Christmas tree. It's fake, and it has lights on it already. Mindy's ex kept my old one... oh well. No biggie. So, I think we might put it up tomorrow. I think Lil M will get a BIG kick out of it!!

On the shopping front, we actually went to Wally-world this weekend, and Meijer. Got everything we wanted, even. We also went to Kohl's, but not until today. I had a gift cert for Dick's Sporting Goods, and finally got myself a new running jacket, waterproof... let's see if it really is! We found the vanilla orange spice fragrance at Bath & Body that we used the entire time we were in China. Boy, does that fragrance bring back happy memories!! :) Oh, and the big thing this weekend was a new table and chairs for Sis... it was a fantastic deal at Kmart... that was awesome. It's already up and looks great. She needed a table *so bad*.

Lil M had a great time... she had home-made ice cream last night for the first time, and loved it! It made her completely spazz out, 'cause of the sugar high. It was funny. We don't do a whole lot of sugar... so, it is obvious when she does have it! I couldn't very well let her NOT have home-made ice cream!! :)

Gobble, gobble.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Blog Buzz question

Q - To Commit your heart or not? There is much debate in the adoption world about when you throw your heart into the mix. . .upon first sight of that referral picture? Or not until the court date? Homecoming Date? Share your thoughts and experience!

A - For me, I think that I gave pieces of my heart during each part of the adoption process. First, as a single mom, I had to put part of my heart and faith out there when I first decided to adopt. Then when the paperwork was sent to China, that was a big moment. I felt like I put a little piece of my heart out there, because I wasn't sure if my daughter was born yet, and if she was, I wanted to lift up prayers for her. Then, when my paperwork was logged in, I felt the same way (albeit, was only 2 weeks later than when it was sent, but it was a landmark date, as everything relied on that date). This didn't change during the wait, because I prayerfully considered her "name"... that was a HUGE decision for me. I didn't realize what it would feel like to name another human being.

When I received my referral, I definitely gave another piece of my heart to this child that would be mine. Same for when we traveled. I think that the rest of my heart has been given to my daughter over the year (plus) we've been home together. The day we arrived home, was pretty monumental, emotionally, for me. To realize it was really official. She is an American Citizen, my Daughter, and will always be with me. But I felt more fear at that time, that I would mess something up... so, it took me a little while to be able to relax and really open my heart all the way... not too long, of course. She's amazing. She didn't always want to be held, which was tough for me, but most of the time she is very willing. When she yells Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!!! Or wants to give Mommy kisses *just because*, it just melts my heart... and that's when I realize that at some point she got ALL of my heart, not just the parts I thought I had put out there. :) Kind of sneaky that way!! LOL


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Red Letters Campaign

I found a neat site today called the Red Letter Campaign. It has has quite a few adoption bloggers and other neat sources, out there. I have added their link to my site and I hope you will also consider following my blog, as I've added it to their list of adoption sites. :)

It's also about time for me to update my blogs' "style" lol. I am going to try my very best not to lose anything, i promise!! If I can't figure something out, I'll keep it as is. Please remember my other blog that Sis and I co-author...

Single Mom By Choice or Circumtsance

Nothing else to do, except keep reading and sending me your little tidbits of wisdom!!!


Monday, November 24, 2008

China TV

For your tv viewing pleasure:

Sunday, November 23, 2008


This weekend we went to see Sis and Chase. It was good. Lil M was pretending to play with bubbles last night, and when Sis sends me the little video I'll have to post it. It was too cute. :)

When I was putting Mia to bed, I ran into a hard drive that was sitting next to the couch (from Mindy's old house... that I knew was sitting there, but forgot), and I totally messed up my knee. I mean, I almost fell over I hit the damn thing so hard. My knee swelled up and turned black and blue. Oh great. And we're supposed to do the Turkey Trot thursday. :( It still hurts pretty bad today, and going up and down stairs isn't big fun.

I'm feeling fairly anxious today, too, for some reason. I keep trying to tell myself everything is perfectly fine, but it still comes and goes. It's definitely gotten better since I started my new job.

Oh, and Friday I sent a couple of requests to adoption agencies about a couple different countries. I'm trying to figure out if adopting a 2nd child is an option... or will be at some point? The two countries I'm looking at do very few adoptions a year, but they do accept singles. Regardless, it would take a couple years again, and so I figured I'd better start if that's what I want to do... If it did take 2 years or more, Mia would be 4+ and I think I could handle that. I've really been trying to figure out if finances will work, if I could actually parent 2 children... so, I'm in the prayer / investigation stage right now. Prayers are welcome. :)

Have a great Thanksgiving week... I know I definitely have a lot to be thankful for this year. Thank you God.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008 own!

I made something new tonight... ok, not new, but not from a box! lol

It was chicken/noodles/broccoli... don't judge my using canned chicken... it works when you are single like me!! ;-)

1 bag of egg noodles (cooked 8 min instead of 10, to account for add'l cooking with other ingredients)
1 can canned chicken
1 can cream of chicken soup
1/2 can of evaporated milk
3/4 or so can of hot water
1/2 bag broccoli (steamed in microwave and added at end)
couple dashes of paprika
dash of celery seed
3 dashes of onion flakes
couple dashes of onion powder

Cooked noodles, drained. Added cream of chicken soup and evap milk and water. Added spices. Cooked for a few minutes then added broccoli.

It was very good, if I do say so!!! I also made chocolate pudding for desert.


Saturday, November 15, 2008

Potty and other news

So, Lil M is sort of starting to potty train. I put her on the potty every night, and they do at daycare too. This is new territory for us. I'm just taking it slow and getting her used to the idea. She's peed on it several times and poo'ed a couple. She usually does pretty well, and sits there quite willingly. Other times, she cries. That makes me feel bad.

On another note, she likes to put her babies to sleep (nigh nigh)... she does this with the dogs (dog dogs) and even Mommy sometimes. She has gotten quite attached to her stuffed kitty (Meow) and has tried to take it with us in the car a couple of times to daycare now. I haven't let her, because I don't want her to lose Meow. I'm wondering how this attachment is going to progress.

Speaking of attachment... we are at the stage where Lil M likes to make sure Mommy is very near and she checks back with me often. She does show some anxiety when there is a loud noise (TV or otherwise) that startles her. She runs to me and looks anxious. But she seems to calm down almost instantly. When I get to daycare she always yells "My Mommy" if another child comes close to me. She did this at the hair salon the other night, too. She definitely doesn't seem to want to go to others she doesn't know... and I'm actually thankful of that. I've heard where children sometimes aren't picky and will go to anyone, and that me...quite frankly, is scary.

I'm trying to decide when we are going to move to a big-girl (toddler) bed. I don't think she's ready, but will be in the next few months. She's 26 months old, and I think she's progressing quite well. We haven't been working as much yet on numbers and colors, but I'm going to get to that here soon. I periodically check my baby books to see where she should be at a given age, and she seems to be pretty close to what they consider the norm.

Days like today, I'm happy I'm the one who gets to make the decisions of how fast or slow we are going with potty and toddler beds and such. Other days aren't so easy, but it's been an amazing journey. There is always, absolutely more to do than can get done in a given day... especially with chores!! I've been trying to de-clutter, and have not quite conquered that yet. But I'm working on it. One day at a time. :)


Almost 4 years

It's been almost 4 years since I started this journey! WOW. In December of 2004, I submitted my application for a Singles Lottery with CCAI. I got in (obviously)! I found out Jan 4, 2005 (if memory serves). Then I started the paperwork... in September of 2005 I started this blog, WOW.... over 3 years ago! I've have almost 40,000 visitors. Holy cow.

I'm trying to figure out if I should change my blog in any way. I've updated the links. I've added my other blog - I'm not planning to quit writing. I know this is how some of my family and friends keep up with us when we're home-bodies. lol.

I still can't believe it's been so long since I started all this. And, incredibly Lil M has been with me for over a year now. She is amazing as ever. I'm still as imperfect as ever. But we are doing well. I look back at just ONE year ago and marvel at how little she was!! Amazing. I am still considering another child, but am not sure yet, so I'm praying about it.

I've been trying to keep up with all my favorite blogs. It is so neat to see our babies growing up. I hope I'm not the only one who continues to write! :)


Monday, November 10, 2008


Sis, Chase, and Scott all came over this weekend. What a treat!!! ;-) Sis and I took the kids shopping on Saturday and got some great deals at Goodwill for Chase (pants)... it's expensive to clothe the kids sometimes! LOL. They can ruin a new pair of pants in SECONDS!!! ROFL. He really needed some new stuff, and we always balance brand new clothes with gently-used ones. Mindy and I always shared clothes or wore hand-me-downs as kids (of course, we had new ones too!!)... so, we're just following history. :)

I made some rice pudding that turned out pretty good. I also made some chili, but it was missing onion and peppers... so, it's a little more bland than usual. Oh, and Sis made me a great turkey meatloaf!! That'll have us set for a few days this week. :)

It's so cute to see how much Lil M loves her Aiyee Mimi, Chase and Scott. If they leave a room, she asks where did they go. The day after they leave (like this morning), she looks for them and asks where'd "Mimi" go?!

It is Monday now, and of course, I'm tired! But it is a good tired this morning. I really am blessed to have the family and friends that I have.


Friday, November 7, 2008

Tagged answers

7 random and/or weird facts about me... let's see,

1. I think some people think I'm a true extrovert, but I really like my down-time. I can go and go and go for awhile, but then I crash. So, if I don't get adequate alone time, I get cranky.

2. I really do think Marathons are fun. (yes, 26.2 miles)

3. My sister and I go every year to the day after Thanksgiving sales... as soon as we're done, I'm looking forward to the next one! All year, in fact. Maybe it is because it is "our" special day, or because we always find some awesome stuff... not sure, but I'd say it's the former. :)

4. I'm fanatical about using face lotion. I've been using it since I was 18, and when I'm 80, I'll likely go to straight vaseline, like my Grandmother did!!! ROFL

5. I've been thinking about trying to get into Law school for years. And now I'm at a point where I'm trying to decide what the next "goal" of mine should be. (i'm very goal oriented) I feel like I'm eventually supposed to add something else to my life's work, somehow. Not sure if that's an MBA, law, ministry, volunteering...

6. I'm allergic to cats. (At one time I had 4, and now I just have Manna, who is my first-ever pet and who is 14.5 years old.)

7. I like to hang dry my clothes on the line outside in the summer, and use clothe diapers on Lil M as much as I can.


Thursday, November 6, 2008

Single Mother by Choice

So, I've been searching for sites about people like me... Single Moms by Choice... or single parents by choice...whatever... boy, is there a bunch of CRAP out there!! I mean, I certainly don't have all the answers (or even some, half the time!!), but some of the stuff out there is just depressing, demotivating and rough. Don't get me wrong, I know there are a lot of people out there who've had a really tough life, through their own actions or as a result of someone elses... but I really was hoping to find others like me out there. Apparently, those are the ones who don't write or have anything realistic to say? The ones I've found just moan and groan and whine!! That sounds terrible, but oh well.

I hope I don't whine all the time. I've definitely made some different decisions in my life than most of the people I know or that seem to be out there. I "chose" not to get married in my 20's because I knew I wasn't ready. I knew I had to figure out how to be in a relationship with a man, and not just pick someone out of convenience or fancy. I also knew that adoption was an option for me. I didn't know that I would end up doing it by myself... but I've been OK with that decision since the moment I made it.

So, what makes our little family all that different? I guess, no Dad for Lil M. Apparently, that's just not the "ideal" situation....but for us it seems pretty ideal. (as an aside, this has NOTHING to do with who I am dating, btw, he is wonderful and I'm not going to speculate about our future here, but suffice to say, if we decide to move to the next level, i have no doubt we will do that together).

Some days are definitely harder than others. My last job was the PITS. I had a horrible boss, one who was a woman, yet seemed to have issue with me from day one. I kept thinking it was either because she kept me to higher standards or it was because she took offense to my single-motherhood-ness... or something. It really stressed me out. I mean, STRESSED. The amazing thing with my new job is that even though I work with a bunch of people who seem to be very traditional, male, conservative, with stay-at-home wives... I am 100 times more relaxed than I have been in months...and this has just been two weeks!! I have more time to spend with Mia because my commute is nil, I can come home for lunch if I want to or even run an errand. I can take a half hour lunch and leave after my 8.5 hours (instead of 9) are done! I know it is a straight contract job, that very well could end next year... but, man, it's crazy how much better I already feel. So much so, that I took the time to clean my home office a little more last night. I'm itching to really run. I'm thinking I can and should get back to my hobbies full-swing. Heck, if this keeps up, I might just have to start thinking of number 2 in the next few months (ok, I've already been thinking, I mean actually start the paperwork)...

So, speaking of number 2, I'm still a little on the fence about that. I want Lil M to have a sibling. But I know how hard this past year has been to get my feet under me again... I'm not sure if I have what it takes to be a parent of multiple children... but I think I've always had this thought somewhere that I am supposed to have more... what a conundrum.

Life didn't end because I became a Single Mom by Choice. It did change (thanks for the "sound" advice, all you men - DAD - out there!! or is that "master(s) of the obvious"???) ROFL. I'm not sure how women do this who are young, don't have educations and such. I can't imagine what they must have to go through. I can understand why someone would end up being with a man just to try to 'save' themselves... because some days the stress is quite great, even for me.

I admire my sister who is picking herself up and moving on from a bad marriage...and who has fought and is still fighting for Chase. We might have different parenting styles, but she is one of the best Moms I know. Watching her with my two nephews gave me the strength to know that *I* could actually parent... that you don't have to be perfect to parent. You just have to keep trying.

I am by no means perfect. We sometimes have cheese, applesauce and crackers for dinner. Just because. Or cereal. Or oatmeal. Other times, I actually cook... and let me tell you... I am not a chef, that's for sure!!! haha. The housework is NEVER-ENDING... and as I sit here and contemplate other children, hobbies...whatever.. I think, I could be doing housework! Yeah, whatever. ;-)

**Added, ok, so I sat here and rambled...and I noticed I'm feeling more stressed tonight than I let on. I'm not sure why, exactly, but I suspect it is because I'm trying to de-stress after the past few months and it is just taking some time. So, even though I'm really happy right now, all things considered!, i'm actually feeling anxious. What a dichotomy. I think I'm going to start writing more.


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Closet Democrat....

My sister has told me before (in fun) that I'm a 'closet Democrat'. I am the most liberal conservative you know!! ROFL. Actually, I don't believe in the death penalty, but I do believe in a woman's right to choose (not pro-abortion, that's different).... both of which, are Democratic philosophies....

Voting, however, I revert to my 'other' self... the Republican one... sometimes!!! And this was one such election. I hope no one took offense... I was just sharing my own thoughts.

As it stands, I'm proud to be an American, a Christian and a Mom.

My job is going so much better than the last one... a little slow, and definitely no promise of long-term after the contract has ended, but it is just what I needed for now! Funny how God lets that happen just when we need it sometimes!!!!! :) Praise God.

So, go kiss your kids, hug a friend or family member, and praise God that we've gotten to live another day!!!


Tuesday, November 4, 2008


I was tagged, and I forgot to reply... I'll do that!!

Also, I'm excited for the results today of the election. Regardless, history is being made....


Monday, November 3, 2008

Vote tomorrow... McCain!!!

Hi all... I don't normally do this, but I feel like if I can encourage one person to get out and vote tomorrow, then that would be awesome.

Personally, I think Obama is a lot of talk and hype. He keep changing what he says... I'm worried about him taking away military funds and increasing our taxes. He keeps saying that the middle class is $250K... then $200K, ... then $150K... next it'll be $50K or $30K!!

I just believe that John McCain is who we need... he Walks the Walk. Please consider giving him your vote. He's more moderate and Moderate is what we need right now! Otherwise, we're going to be overwhelmingly liberal... don't get me wrong, I'm pretty liberal, but I don't believe that the Congress, House and President should all be Democrat!! OMG. Think of the TAXES alone!!! Yikes.

Regardless of who you vote for, please get out and vote tomorrow!!!!