Thursday, May 24, 2007


I'm sitting here tonight thinking about lots of things... like, the fact that I'm such a whiny baby when I'm sick. Oh, and that I could see my daughter's face in less than a month! I read one rumor today that someone got their TA (travel approval) from the May 2 referral group. Not my agency, yet, that I know of, but someone. Wow. I wonder when I'll get mine.

I go tomorrow to get my own titers done to see what I've been inoculated for. Tuesday I go talk to my Dr. about the trip.

I can't breathe. Ugh. It's all about *me*. Ok... no, it isn't. ;-)

The baby's room isn't done yet. (have you figured out by now that this is a recurring theme?) I'm back to feeling like this is all surreal again. I wonder why. I actually get to see her little picture every day, but I can't wait to hear more. Yet, I'm so stressed right now.

I'm extremely worried about sis and her situation. I know it will work out, but that doesn't mean I don't worry. I know it isn't *my* life and I shouldn't be so worried, but I can't help it. Should, shouldn't... someone used to tell me to stop with the *shoulds*. That I *should* (haha) just live and do what I wanted, and that by living by *shoulds* I was living on guilt or what others wanted for me. True. But, I haven't managed to get away from that...

None of that has to do with Sis... but more how I seem to handle situations sometimes. Like when I'm a whiny baby, and sick. ha.

Did I mention I can't breathe right now? God, I hope I feel better tomorrow. The whiny baby is going to bed soon. Or, at least I *should*!!



  1. Ok...all I'm going to say is...let it be about YOU for the next few weeks, because once the princess enters your is so NOT about you. EVER. Get the rest that you need. Really. Sleep more than you think you "should" or can. Hope you are feeling better soon!

  2. I hope you feel better soon. Not sure if it helps you or not, but I for one, am a HUGE whiny baby when I'm sick. I actually call my mom and say "i need sympathy" in the most pathetic voice ever. Dude. You totally deserve to be all about you right now.

    And it's ok to worry about your sis too. You love her, and that's what you do when you love people You worry about them!

    Hang in there. I send you a hug. :-)

  3. Melissa... hang in there girl. All these changing emotions are SO normal. You are embarking on the biggest journey of your life, motherhood. It comes with some stress... but remember, you are never doing this alone, never. Take care of YOU. If you don't, you'll never be able to take care of anyone else, or help your sis...
    focus on you, so that you have the ability and power to focus on others.

    And go easy on yourself. It won't necessarily be easy, but it will be incredible, and you will be this amazing mom, and you will get better, and you are ALLOWED to whine all you want!!

  4. Honey it is about you. Today. I lived through this pain a year ago. Man it doesn't seem like it's been that long ago. I remember being so emotional and anxious (still am both!) and pretty much driving everyone nutty... Hang tight. This is going to be the best ride of your life. Once they place your little girl in your arms nothing else will matter.....