Saturday, December 26, 2009

Little changes

I made some little changes to the blog... hopefully, it won't impact anyone I want here. So, I apologize for any inconvenience... (i'm changing the name and url a bit)... if for some reason you can't find me... I'm sorry. But, if for some reason I find that there are those who really should just go away and don't... well, I'll have to take more drastic measures. And, actually, there is only one person who needs to go away (J....).

We had a good Christmas, Lil M and I did. *T* seemed to have a good Christmas, too. She said it was the best she ever had, actually. Then she pushed the envelope of being late tonight (from her family visit) and we had to have a talk about that.

Otherwise, let's see. I talked to the social worker today and she said I might be able to have another week of respite care before taking full placement. I'll find out tomorrow or Monday, but that would really help me. It's not that I can't go ahead and take placement in a couple of days, but I would feel more comfortable waiting to see how it goes for a few more days.

Anyway, Lil M seems to like *T* so far. I think she already realizes she can get away with more with *T* than she can with me... so, I have to reign that in. Lil M got a ton of toys for Christmas and she's got stuff everywhere. Of course, she has had a blast.

I'm in a bit of a mood today... but will hopefully snap out of it soon.

I hope everyone has had a very nice Christmas and a very Happy New Year.



  1. I'm glad you guys had a nice Christmas. Boy, to see Lil' Mia in person opening up her presents would make anyone's 2010! She really looks like she was having a good time:0)

    Well, with that relatively minor incident (I hope I'm not trivializing it by calling ti "minor") of showing up late, the experience with "T" overall seems to have been a positive one. I’m hoping she can fit right in so she can share in some part with the love that you and Mia have for each other.

    Again, it’s one thing to SAY something nice about children who need parents and foster parents. It’s quite another to walk-the-walk and actually do something about it. Kudos to you for being so open and human and opening your home to a child in need.

  2. Well, the above comment was meant mostly for the “Christmas Morn” post [sorry, it’s a bit late and I just got home from a boys night out ;0) ]

    I’m not sure what motivates the gentleman the seeks to disrupt your life and the life of your sister. For this hypothetical, I’m going to afford him the benefit of the doubt and say that, first and foremost, he truly loves his son and it’s the love for him which motivates him to fight for custody. In a story that is very long and personal to recount here (maybe one day over a Starbucks I can share it with you) my biological father had to bid farewell to me, drenched in tears, when I was just five years old. He knew that giving my mother sole custody was in MY absolute best interest (not his) and that placing (again) MY needs over his was the proper way a father conducted himself. If “J” is moved by love for his son - and NOT a desire for retribution - he has come to a point in his life when it’s time to act like a real man, a real father, and place the best interest of his son above his. Regardless of who he feels makes the better parent, the courts have decided and now - for the emotional and psychological welfare of his son - it’s time to let go and accept the realities of life regardless of how unpleasant they might be.

    If he is motivated by retaliation and using his son (and other methods) to achieve that goal, Lord have mercy on him. But ultimately, he stands to lose more than the love of his own son.

  3. Tom, I hope you are right...

    i guess i do believe if you "can" then you "should" try to help... never thought of it as walking the walk... but i'm not perfect, tom. i feel very inadequate to help a teenager of all people. but i'm trying to keep it together. my mother wrote all kinds of evil things she thought T might try to do... and i realize those things *could* happen... this has been sort of the honeymoon stage, and i hope when she gets back in school jan 4 that i can handle whatever comes up.

    i don't have to decide until next week, if i'm going to take the placement through her 18th bday - which is october. so, maybe i could handle it for 10 months? ??? OTOH, i do really think some days i've lost my mind and what the heck am i doing here???

    on the other note...

    J is an ass. he only reads what i write to see if he can find ammunition against my sister. i WISH he would only say and do things for the love of my nephew, but i KNOW he doesn't. :( and then when he told Chase before i even had a chance to see him, it was just trying to show us he had some control... and i know in the grand scheme it wasn't a big deal... but i would never want to say something to jeopardize my sister's custody. Nephew is in the BEST place he could possibly be right now. i've seen huge changes in him in the past year ... it is amazing.


    so, thanks for the encouragement. :) really. i mean that. please send up some prayers for us... i really do want to do what is right for us in this situation.


  4. PS. it really WAS a great thing to see her open her presents. :) Starbucks, yum! now, wouldn't that be fun!

    Thank you for sharing your story about your dad. Wanting what is best for a child is the way to go... even if it is hurtful. It's not mean, like being retaliatory.

  5. Will definitely keep you all in my prayers.

    Let's see if this makes any sense...

    I've been trying to add your blog to my feeds using your new add., but when I do I can only see the OLD posts. And to make matters more complex, when I click on the old posts, your blog, of course, is gone (using your NEW address on my feeds leads to a page that says "The blog you were looking for was not found" and that same page has the babyheaton.blogspot add.) To make matters more bizarre, on my feeds page all of your old posts are dated December 26th.

    I think your blog name, old and new add. may be clashing with one another.

    I'm bringing this up to you because others who might follow your blog may have the same experience as I did and it may appear to you that we have all abandoned you- which of course we haven't:0)

  6. hmmm. wonder what i should do to fix it then?

    should i change it back, you think?

  7. i changed it back to the original babyheaton. does that help??

  8. Looks like my last comment didn't post.

    What I wrote is that you SHOULD NOT change it to what it was before simply because unwanted visitors would still be able to find you. Compromising your safety and that of Mia's and that of your sis just isn't worth it. Thankfully you came up with a good solution.

    BTW, can’t someone find you through your other blogs? Be acreful.