I'm having a bit of a rough night... thankfully, the days are getting a little better, but for some reason today's been worse. Having one of those poor-pity-me evenings... you know, when you don't feel like you can ever do anything right?
So, let's see, here are some general thoughts I've had today:
Why am I here again? I mean... alone. What is my problem? Why can't I seem to get it right?
Thank God that Mia hasn't been asking about Scott. Not in a few days, anyway, so that has been a little comforting. I know she will say something at some point, but I'm just glad she isn't for now. That's right. She'll get over him, too. Frankly, I can't wait, because I think he was a real asshole how he ended things.
The whole thing still makes me completely sick to my stomach. And angry. And sad. And, I'm trying to work through it... because, well, I have to. So, this is just another general vent about the whole situation.
On the other hand, let's see... Lil M is just as sweet as ever. I already posted the pics from today. I think her wanting to sit in her swing tonight (for the first time in months) was kind of what brought up some of these emotions for me. He bought her that swing... at the same time. It is just a swing. And I'm trying to take the emotional part away from it, because it isn't worth all that effort.
On the potty front... she's been doing well. She had a daytime accident for the first time in MONTHS the other day, but it was the only one. It was just a little accident. Overnight, she's been doing well, too. She had two wet nights this week, so far, so that's not too bad. :) I know she "gets it" mostly... and it's going to take time to be 100% dry. I actually think she's doing great!
Now, let's hope for another dry night and no talking about you-know-who anytime soon. Oh, and sleep. I slept for crap last night. :( I really need to get back on track with that. I haven't been doing so well for awhile now, and this situation hasn't made it any better. So, here's to less stress and more sleep.
Peace.
#Microblog Monday 486: Send the Picture
23 hours ago
"Why am I here again? I mean... alone. What is my problem? Why can't I seem to get it right?"
ReplyDeleteI’ll be in a better position to answer that question about you as soon as I can answer it about myself, and I’m not even close to finding an answer in regards to my failed relationships.
Without going to deeply into personal details in this public forum, a few years ago I wanted absolutely nothing to do with commitment. I liked having fun and going out with friends who, in turn, discouraged any possibility of settling down with one girl. Now I’ve attended three weddings of the same group of A-holes (I mean that jokingly) who swore they’d never marry and discouraged me from doing the same thing. I'm pretty sure that the mentality/ attitude that dominated my thoughts back in those days in some way subverted some of those relationships. I know it’s difficult for you to understand this from your position, but if you knew my friends you’d get a better idea of the dynamics of our friendship. I know the right person will come into my life when God and she are ready to make it happen. Until then, I wait patiently without any rush.
Same thing will happen to you. The right man will come along when you least expected, perhaps via some untraditional path. That’s just the way life is: a big mystery. And if it leads to marriage bells, I ask for only one thing: I get to be a bridesmaid. I also want to wear a black halter top and black mini skirt made from vinyl, with matching thigh boots:0) M'kay?
Until then and ever after, YOU HAVE MIA! That love is wholesome, unspoiled, and unconditional. I know that you are supremely thankful for having her in your life, as any caring parent would be.
Well, you just got the man's perpective on the question you posted. Hope it helps.
Take care,
Dr. Phil
Tom, thanks so much for giving me your perspective... And your humor. :) (and, of course, you can be a bidesmaid et al!! would love to see you in go-go boots!!!)
ReplyDeleteyes, the best thing ever is that I have Mia!! the other relationship part sucks... but i'm trying to keep it in perspective. :)
i do wonder why some of us seem to have it rougher than others when it comes to this relationship stuff, Dr Phil... only God know why, though, right? :)
Peace.
PS. that whole friend thing kind of bites too... but i totally understand!! like breeds like... sometimes... and then, sometimes they leave you and get married off!!! ha!!