Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I can't hardly think straight

I am beside myself upset over this issue here in Kentucky, as I've already written. I had two people write to me today and tell me that they would NOT like to see a foster child in a home with cohabiting parents (read: not married). WHAT? You'd rather see them in an orphanage???? She said, YES. She thinks that is in the best interest of the child! An orphanage is better. OMG. And she's an a-parent.

I realize we all have our different thoughts regarding marriage. I'm all for marriage. What I am NOT for is for someone to tell me I have to get married. It is my life. And if I don't get married and I want to live with someone, that is between ME, GOD, and my SO. And, if I or we want to adopt or foster a child/ren... so what of it?

The next thing is how are you going to MAKE SURE that the person isn't cohabiting with someone? What if they have a roommate? Is that banned now? The first line says "cohabiting with a person outside of marriage" it doesn't say sexual relationship... slippery slope...

I'm so angry tonight, because I feel like whatever I do it isn't going to be enough to help, and we're going to be stuck with this back-water legislation here in my state. Unbelievable. I've written Senators. I've gotten the word out on Facebook and Myspace. But who cares? The reality is that if they want to get it passed, it'll pass. And it is beyond stupid.

If you do nothing else, will you pretty please PRAY with all your heart that God will not allow this bill to go through. That is the only other thing I haven't put out there as a global prayer request, though I did ask a fellow co-worked to add it to their Sunday prayer list...

Please, Dear Lord, please do not let this bill 68 pass. Please let us find a way to squash it like the bug it is. Forever and ever, amen.



  1. I really don't think this bill will become law. Seriously, i don't think it will happen.

    As far as the differing opinions is concerned, remember your post on Belgium and how one individual responded with "Life is not always sweet and beautiful." It took a lot of guts (or dementia) to respond to something so disturbing with such a trivial statement. In that issue, children were losing their lives. Now, if you can find someone like that who is so apathetic about infants dying, might it not be reasonable to expect that other individuals (who are just as “off” mentally) who think that an orphanage is a better place for a child than in a loving home with people who aren’t married?. Don’t be surprised at what people write, Melissa. For every depravity you will find an admirer.

  2. I hope if it does become law, someone has the ability to challenge it and have it declared unconstitutional. As a fellow single parent, I can testify that my daughter is far, far better off (emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritiually) in a loving SINGLE parent home, that she ever would have been in an orphanage.

    Would I like to meet someone and marry - yes I would. But that doesn't mean that I can't or shouldn't parent as a single.

    What about the child's right to stability, security and love. It's a known fact that there are even times when the SW knows it is in the best interests of the child to be in a single parent home. Some older children even request it as their previous experience may, for example, mean they are not comfortable in a home with a male authority figure.

    Will foster parents who split/divorce suddenly be deemed of no use to the state any more? Will children remain a minute longer than necessary in abusive/dangerous situtations because there is a lack of foster homes available. Will PAP who are single and live outside Kentucky be denied the chance to offer loving families to children in need?

    This legistation is aimed to prevent gay couples from adopting. Despite their being no credible research to show that children raised by gay families suffer developmentally in any way.

    So much for equality.

  3. First calm down. Second, more than likely the law already says that two cohabiting people can't adopt a child. One can adopt and have a live in but two can't without marriage. That was what AR and TN already says. Now they want to write into law what is already in practice. In AR I talked to one of the chair people for adoption agencies and a Dillon rep. She said (and she is a single adoptive mom too) that it comes down to the instability and the ease with which living together couples can split up and how and who takes care of the child. With foster kids the main and most important factor is stability because they have already been ripped out of the bio family once and possibly more than once so it is in the best interest of THESE kids to foster stability. The AR law doesn't prevent singles from adopting just from adopting while living with another adult in a sexual relationship. More than likely the KY law is copying this law or a version of it. Like I said, in practice it is probably already in action. Now it is being put in cement. It isn't discriminatory to give foster kids stability when they have had none before or to at least strive for it. I am not trying to rile you and it isn't about religion. In the US there are no orphanages so remember that. International adoption already doesn't allow cohabiting couples in some countries. And yes I am still stinging from China's closure of singles.

  4. That's an interesting perspective, Beverly. I do care about our children, and I DO want what's best for them. There was an article that was written that said this bill would cost KY over $5.3 Million the first year alone. This is because children would be REMOVED from their current placements. I know there aren't orphanages now, but what happens to these children when they can't find a new placement because of the new law? My mind went straight to having to open orphanages or whatever you want to call them... to house these children. :( We've already got a shortage of parents willing to foster/adopt.

    And thanks for the reminder to calm down. I'm better today. Still upset, but better. :)