it's been suggested

that i stay with my old blog... might just update the title... or not. maybe just the look.

I'm SO Undecided!!!!

Peace.

what's in a name

I'm trying to come up with a good title for the new blog. Right now, I'm sort of liking "A Mama's love Born in China"... what do you think? It's kind of long, but I can't think of much shorter...

Or,
A Mama's Love from China
A Mama's Love

Or,
Mommy... don't leave me!
Meow and Monkey make Three
Dragons, Dogs and... Meow?
Dragons, Dogs and Meow, oh my!

or,
China? Really? Why not the USA?
Is she Adopted? (and you mean, "was")
Is her father Chinese?
Is your Husband Chinese?
Does she speak Chinese?
Yes, She's Mine

Oh... sorry, I digressed there for a sec!!! ;-)

I actually like "Meow and Monkey make Three"...

Life isn't all about adoption around here, but I do recognize it daily in some way or another. And I know I have my single mom blog, but that's more geared toward single parenting, hence the name.

I have had my other blog (To China...) for several years now, and moved all the posts over here so I could figure out if I wanted new digs. It's not that I don't like the other one anymore, it's that I've had more than one ex-BF hang out and follow me... as well as my sister's ex. I feel like I can't always just write from my heart. And if I do, then I get picked apart. Oddly, it says I have about 20 followers over there, but go*gle says I have more like 70-something.

I'm not sure what my message is anymore. It definitely starts with adoption in China. That was not only the best decision I ever made, but it was also the most life-changing. I still read everything I can find on adoption all the time. I want people to know that there are those of us who have been there, done that... and we're doing OK. Great, even. And I want to chronicle our journey, because I like to write and journal.

Ok, so I started this post last night and then T and I had a pretty good talk about life, love and mom's. She had a rough childhood, and I continue to hope and pray that her time with me encourages her in some way and that she continues her good fight to break the cycle. She even said those words last night. She will be the chain that breaks that link to the bad cycle. I pray she succeeds. Those chains can be hard to break sometimes.

Peace.

Changes

I haven't made any major blog style changes (ok, i changed the color a little) but I have moved locations. I wonder if/when people will find me. I think I will keep up the other one for now, and will see if anyone really comes to visit me here (one already has!)... it'd be nice if they do, but I am hoping to stay a bit more anonymous. Let's see. I might not like it over here...

It definitely is quieter over here. I don't want to lose my adoptive parent friends... hmmm

this new green background is hesitating when i open it for some reason... bah.

Peace.

A quieter place

I think maybe I need a quieter place to write for awhile, and this seems to be as good a place as any. My life with my daughter is amazing. We didn't really do anything super special for Chinese New Year, but we did go to dinner. I also got the kids Chinese red envelopes this year and orange suckers. It was also V-day (which I hate), so I got everyone cards.

It's been sort of a long winter here, due to ALL the snow, but we're managing pretty well. Lil M and T and I had some fun playing around with the camera last night. I got a couple of really cute ones with the two of them. Lil M really likes having T around and T seems to enjoy Lil M. Lil M likes to mimic T, which is mostly adorable (could be scary, but so far so good).

Anyway, let's see, Lil M will be 3.5 on the 27th. I can't believe she's been with me for almost 3 years (in june, but still). It's just crazy how fast time has flown. I mean, super fast!! She's gone almost 4 weeks being dry overnights. She has a great vocabulary for a 3YO, as well as counting to 20 and her ABC's... she "gets" things (comprehends) and is just really the sweetest spirit I know. I'm so utterly blessed to be called her Mommy, I can't even being to verbalize it.

Last month when our friend MK2 turned 4, Lil M swam by herself (with her backpack float and the big dumbell float), and was so proud of herself she talked about it for at least two weeks. She wants to go swimming again. I'm so proud of her. I think I really want to get her into swim lessons again, soon. I also want to get her into tumbling/gymnastics. I haven't figured out when they can learn piano, but I want her to take lessons. So... gotta get some money saved so I can let her do all this, huh?!

I've been considering a 2nd adoption for awhile now. I am trying to get finances under control and will hopefully be able to make a real decision by the summer. The way things change in that area, what I read even 3 months ago might be old information today. I will have T until the fall sometime, maybe longer depending on if she wants to stay or not.

I haven't really been very social this past two months, and I feel bad about because I miss my friends and family. The weather has been a huge issue this winter. We've gotten record level snowfall and been stuck at home a lot. I pray the worst of this winter is over, though, 'cause I'm ready to get out again.

There were lots of things I wanted to write about Lil M and her progress even, say, over the past 6 months... Suffice to say, she's still amazing and still the love of my life.

Peace.

cutie pies

I took some silly pics tonight of the girls... T was wearing Lil M's shoes and they were both posing for pics... and just generally being goofy.
Could they be any cuter?!!!

Meow and Monkey were, of course, involved in the craziness. :D We don't have cabin fever, do we?!!

Peace.

More of the same

SNOW. We got another 7-8" of snow yesterday... oh boy. I was glad I had the day off because of Pres. Day, but today they not only closed the school here, T isn't feeling well and they also closed the daycare. Yep, they didn't just open late, they closed today. That's the first time in the 3 winter's we've been there that they've closed for the entire day.

So, thankfully, I'm working from home. But, it wouldn't have surprised me if my boss would have wanted me to take PTO this time, since I worked from home last week. So far, so good. Very thankful for that.

It's getting old not being able to just jump in the car and go... I had to clean off the driveway yesterday and then it snowed again. But I figured it would be easier to get the 2-3" off of it today than the 8+". They haven't cleaned off our street, as usual, either. Which means, I can't hardly get up it.

I think I need to get some new tires on my car. So, I might look into that in the next couple of weeks, too. Lil M is doing great. Only one overnight accident in 3 weeks. Woot!

T got her grades for this term and she brought a couple of them up, which was fantastic, as well. We've been doing the reward type things when she does well, so this time she got a steak for dinner, starb*cks and a haircut. She seems to like that. She also took her ACT prep test this past weekend, and I can't wait to get the results so she can do some more targeted study for that.

Peace.

Lunar New Year

Tomorrow is not only Valentine's Day, but it is also the Lunar New Year - or Chinese New Year!!

So, Happy Chinese New Year. I hope that this one is a prosperous one for you and that you and your family are blessed.

I got the traditional red envelopes this year for the kids. You put a new dollar bill in them (to bring prosperity to the recipient). You can also give fruit, orange or red in color. I gave candy instead (big round orange lolipops), in honor of both holidays. Lil M liked her money. :)

She and T both got a couple of Valentine's cards in the mail, thanks for those (you know who you are). They liked that! :)

Today, I took a bunch of things to Goodw*ll. Part of the CNY tradition says to clean and get rid of the old stuff in the days before CNY. Then you wear something new on New Years day, but I didn't buy us anything new to wear... I'll, hopefully, remember to do that next year. :) We were going to get Chinese food for dinner to celebrate tonight, but the wait was way too long, so we'll do that tomorrow or Monday.

Peace.

Dinosaurs go roar....

Lil M has officially been dry overnights for 2.5 weeks now (it was two saturday nights last when she had her last accident, so Jan 31). Woot! Just over 3 yr and 5 months old (jan 27), so I'm very pleased. I know she will continue to have accidents... but it looks like she understands now and that is very exciting!

Let's see, what else? We've gotten a lot of snow, like just about everyone else in the country this week. Except, unlike my brother, we haven't gotten 2 to 3 feet of snow... just about one foot total (last friday and then the past two days). Thank God we didn't have a blizzard like some places!! T dug us out on Saturday, then I did last night and she did again today... we've done pretty well, though, I've worked from home yesterday and today. Really didn't want to try to brave the roads this time, just too much snow at the wrong times.

Skippy had another accident in his bed last week, which was the 2nd in one week. I got him a new lead and stake, and he's doing fine now. I'm guessing he got into something. But am not sure. If it happens again, I will have to take him to the Vet. Ugh.

Manna is doing pretty well. I did take her to the Vet a couple of weeks ago and even though she weighs only 5 lb 9 oz, the Vet said she is looking much, much better. :)

Lil M is sitting next to me singing the Barn*y song... in her own words...

You love me,
You love me,
We're a happy fandily (family, but she doesn't say it right! LOL)
With a great big hug and kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too!

She's also been "saving my hands" today... some monster is going to get Mommy's hands, and she has had to save them. She's also carried Meow, Monkey and Bunny around today, as usual. Well, she doesn't always carry them around, but she always knows where they are! :)

Then she said I was a dinosaur and she was the princess... when I asked her what the dinosaur did she said... ROAR!!! I said, really, isn't that what a bear does? She said, "no... yeah, that, too"! Then I said ROAR and she thought that was the funniest thing and put her into a fit of giggles.

Seriously. She cracks me up. ;-)

Ok, it's bath time for mommy's silly goose...

Oh, and T is doing fine. She is bored being out of school for a couple of days, but did color her hair today. Nothing really new to report there, but all is well.

Peace.

Updates

Lil M is 3 years and 4+ months old now. She is 28 lbs. I need to get her height, but I'm sure she's grown taller in the past 4 months, and then she was 35.5" tall.

Yesterday, she was determined (in her 3 YO way) to make a snowman when we got home. lol. She also wanted to make snowballs. Of course, neither actually looked like what they were supposed to, but she liked piling the snow and playing in it. :)

She is still doing really fantastic with her letters and numbers. She can recognize (out of order) letters in her games, on signs, etc. And, she's gotten more confident with it.

Over Christmas, she loved the Christmas lights...and would say she couldn't see the Christmas lights when we were having dinner (code for Torrie move out of my way)... and would get excited when the tree came on every single day!

She has taken to coming in my room in the mornings, when she hasn't had an accident, and spending a little time with me. Which, I think, it awesome. It's always sweet when your toddler seeks you out. :) She's dry approx 3-4 nights a week right now. Still not wearing pull-ups at all. She gave those up. lol. I know some of this is a repeat... but I wanted to make sure I had it written down.

Lil M likes to play with the cart that came with her kitchen set, and put all kinds of stuff in it. She also plays with her baby doll she got, that has a carrier with straps (or her "backpack")... she's taken to saying the baby is crying and then picks it up and gives it love. She does this with her animals, too.

Meow and Monkey are still the two favorites. Oh, and she talks up a storm most days!! She cracks me up. And then others, she won't hardly say a word. But most of the time... talk, talk, talk!!

One day we went to a restroom at a store, and I said it looked "disgusting"... so, she uses that term a lot now! That's Dis-Gustin !! lol.

Peace.

It's a new day

Tomorrow, T goes to school for the first time in 2 weeks... she has to be on the bus by 6:30 and so she'll need to go to bed pretty early. We're getting ready tonight for her to start tomorrow...

She's getting her room more organized and we got the Christmas tree down and stuff. She's a big help with that sort of thing. She likes things to be organized... it's her thing. I'm OK with that, so long as she stays out of my personal stuff.

We had an NCIS marathon day yesterday... plus laundry. Got almost everything caught up. It would have been nice to get the give-away things together before the end of the year, but we should have most of it ready this week to take to the local non-profit.

Something she thought was funny today - I told her to not "keep something on her person" today and she thought that was funny. It was an important paper, I didn't want her to take out of the house.

Lil M really seems to like her so far. She says this is my house, her house and T's house... all on her own. She seems more than fine for T to be here... that, in an of itself, is a good sign. She can be finicky (rightly so) around people sometimes, and the fact that she calls it all our house is kind of cool.

Lil M and I have taken a couple of naps together this past week, which was nice. She has also crawled into bed with me 4 mornings this week. Which is highly unusual... but I'm perfectly OK with it. I think she just wants to make sure everything is still the same with her and Mommy. She's still working on nighttime dryness... and now really seems to understand that she can get out of her own bed to go if she needs to. But she has been wet at least 3 days this week (the days she didn't come in my room)... and I think it might be because she was just sleeping too heavy at the time to realize she needed to get up. That's my theory, anyhow. :)

Peace.

Jujy fruits and a song

I'm so totally sitting here on New Years Eve eating Jujy Fruits... and before this, I had popcorn... yep. Livin' on the wild side, I tell ya!! :)

Before Lil M went to bed I sang her "our" song... the song I made up for her when she was a baby... which made me cry, because tomorrow is the new year...and the THIRD we've gotten to spend together. :D 2007-08, 2008-09 and now 2009-10. Very nice. :)

Things are OK here... though, I am still feeling a bit stressed. Hopefully, that feeling will go away soon.

I wish every one of my friends and family a very happy, healthy and blessed New Year!!!

Peace.

Christmas morn

Only a couple of pics for now. Little Miss M with her dora backpack and the stockings...

*T* and Lil M (in front) and Nephew and Sis (in back)

Mama and Lil M... she totally digs the mermaid dora. :)
Sis has my camera and card, so I only had a couple I could show for now. Hopefully, will have better pics in a couple of days.

Peace.

Little changes

I made some little changes to the blog... hopefully, it won't impact anyone I want here. So, I apologize for any inconvenience... (i'm changing the name and url a bit)... if for some reason you can't find me... I'm sorry. But, if for some reason I find that there are those who really should just go away and don't... well, I'll have to take more drastic measures. And, actually, there is only one person who needs to go away (J....).

We had a good Christmas, Lil M and I did. *T* seemed to have a good Christmas, too. She said it was the best she ever had, actually. Then she pushed the envelope of being late tonight (from her family visit) and we had to have a talk about that.

Otherwise, let's see. I talked to the social worker today and she said I might be able to have another week of respite care before taking full placement. I'll find out tomorrow or Monday, but that would really help me. It's not that I can't go ahead and take placement in a couple of days, but I would feel more comfortable waiting to see how it goes for a few more days.

Anyway, Lil M seems to like *T* so far. I think she already realizes she can get away with more with *T* than she can with me... so, I have to reign that in. Lil M got a ton of toys for Christmas and she's got stuff everywhere. Of course, she has had a blast.

I'm in a bit of a mood today... but will hopefully snap out of it soon.

I hope everyone has had a very nice Christmas and a very Happy New Year.

Peace.

Getting settled

So, I have my first foster placement as of today. We'll call her *T*, and she's 17. We're trying to get a little settled. We went to the store first thing, and then went to see my Dad and step-mom. We went to see Christmas lights, and *T* and Lil M seemed to like them. :) I took pics on my phone, but am not sure where I put that cord... so, not sure if I'll be able to get them off soon.

T is 5' 5.5" or so... way taller than me, lol, but who isn't!!! She is slim and seems pretty nice so far. We're trying this out to see if all of us think this will be a good placement for her or not, so she'll be here through Christmas, at least.

I just want to say a huge "thank you" to all of my friends and family... who are absolutely the best. I don't know if T will realize just how big your hearts are... but I hope she does. :)

Anyway, personally, I think it would completely suck to have to move around Christmas, so I'm trying to make this transition as smooth as I can for her. I also don't know what it is like to have a teenager in the house, so let's see how that goes!! LOL. Send up a little prayer for us all, if you want.

Peace.

3 mice and our ornaments...

I have a small box sitting on one of the branches on the Christmas tree... it has 3 mice in it - finger puppets... Mia asked me tonight - Mommy, why do you have a box on the Christmas tree??

....and then proceeded to take me over to see the mice and touch them (actually pet their little heads). haha.

Then I showed her "our" ornaments... two Candy Canes and two Snow Men globes with our names on them... she LOVED that. :D Then she called the red Christmas ornaments apples... I told her we can't eat those. ;-)

A few minutes later she took me back to the Christmas tree to show her "our" ornaments... God, I love that girl. :) (guess i should take a picture, huh?)

ps. i still have a cold (probably why i look so awful in this morning's pic). actually, it's gotten worse. bah. :( i was hanging onto the notion that it was just going to hover, nope. oh well... this too shall pass!! lol

Mommy's strawberry vest

This morning, I had Lil M try on my vest that my Mommaw made for me when I was a young child. It's a little big on her, but too cute. :) SO, I had to take some pics.

At daycare this morning they had Santa come... we didn't quite make it in time for Lil M to see him with her class, 'cause neither of us were feeling that great this morning. I think we're both just struggling to not get full-blown sick. :( But we'll be ok. Anyway, we went into the Pooh room to see him. Lil M wanted nothing to do with him. And she would only go near him with me. Now, I'm not sure if she would have had I not been there, but I was only there to get a couple of pics. And then she decided she'd rather have me. I'm not going to complain. Nor am I going to force her to sit with a stranger (even if it is santa).


Then we went to her room where they had snacks waiting for her and her classmate Audrey. So she had some yogurt, fruit and a donut. She shared a strawberry with me. :) She's so sweet.
Then Lil M and Audrey exchanged their books. Mia got a 123 dry-erase book that's cool. I didn't get a pic of that, though.


Overall, we were just plain late to the party. But I don't think she really cared. She still enjoyed what she got to do, and when I left they were making christmas trees... and what 3 year old doesn't like to use glue? ;-)

Peace.

It's beginning to...

look a lot like Christmas?? Nope, not around here... not just yet, anyway. I left all the Christmas paper Sis and I bought at her house on accident, so tonight I bought a couple of rolls so that I could at least get a few things wrapped before Christmas Eve. Of which, I cannot believe that is next week!!! Oh my.

Lil M told me today that the reason for Christmas was Santa. :( I realize that's what everyone talks about for Christmas, but really Santa is NOT the reason. THIS is why I used to say that I wouldn't do Santa at all... and then I've conceded. But now, I've got to figure out how to start explaining Jesus to my 3 year old... clearly, I haven't been doing my job on that.

And then, on that note... they will have Santa tomorrow at daycare. I was going to put her in a dress for a pic... but now, I'm not. I will be there with her, though.

Now, I don't need everyone to be worried that I am all upset this happened. I was just surprised. And, now I know. And I know that I need to fix it. Because, the Lord Jesus Christ is my savior and I want her to know Him too. I don't mind a bit of Santa... but he is NOT the reason for the season. Jesus is.

Peace.

Cold and a cold

I didn't mean to neglect the blog all week. I was busier than usual, I guess... on Wed. we had a power outage in my area and that sort of stunk. Work and and home the power was out, and man was it cold out! I got chilled and couldn't get warm... the power did come back on after a few hours, but it was a bit stressful, 'cause I got us locked out of the house on accident. (the screen door was locked and I don't have a key... how? not sure...) But it ended up fine. Auntie Ellen came over and checked on us to make sure we were ok, and, thankfully, when she showed up the power had come back on. Thank God. :) So, we all went to dinner... Chinese food. YUM. So, she didn't have to save us or anything, but it was good to have a friend around, that's for sure.

...and then toward the end of the week I ended up with a stupid cold. So, we've been house-bound since Thurs. Oh well. :( We were going to go see the new movie The Princess and the Frog, but I try to not go out when I'm sick. I don't like spreading cooties. Nor, do I really feel like going out when I feel bad. So, we've stayed in.

Lil M is good, but she's a little sniffly too. Hoping I'll feel better by tomorrow.... I imagine she will be, 'cause she's just a little sniffly.

She's been liking to read The Three Little Pigs... I'll puff and I'll puff... (instead of huff and puff), lol. And now she's playing a little spider in her spider suit. lol. I'm calling her my little miss spidey and she's singing the itsy bitsy spider song.

Peace.

Christmas party

We had a nice time at the Christmas party Friday night. A friend took some pics of Lil M trying to play this horn... (taken on an iphone)

Left to right, Andrew, me, Greg, Tanya, Mike, Kim and Mia in front. Andrew, Greg and Mike and I are co-workers. Tanya and Kim are spouses. For some reason, Andrew's wife didn't get in the pic! But Lil M did!! :)

Peace.

Find My Family - show

This article sums up how I feel about ABC's new show Find My Family.

Read the article here.

If you have adopted, you might feel like I do. This show is so sensationalized and makes it seem like the only thing that matters to an adoptee is finding their birth family. I'm not an adoptee, but people are more complex than that. Oi.

That being said, I do want Lil M to know it is OK for her to search if/when she ever wants to. It's just that I don't agree with the media perpetuating the idea that an adoptive family's relationship to their child isn't 'as good as'....

Peace.