Monday, April 30, 2007

Can't sleep

I'm sitting here wondering if I will be awake at the stroke of midnight, to see my little ladybug turn to 18 months. I can't sleep. I'm exhausted. But I'm anxious... mind doesn't want to stop thinking, especially about what this week holds.

I'm going to be a Mom. I'm going to have my very own daughter. WOW. I think that tonight it is starting to sink in... this wait has been SO long, that it seems surreal. I guess part of me wonders if it will even happen. I've jumped through all the hoops. I've waited the wait. I've even been patient.

If something goes wrong now, I just don't know what I'll do. And I can't even begin to think about all the mistakes I'm bound to make. oh heavens.

Please Lord, let it be..... good. All good.

I'm going to try to sleep again. How on earth am I going to get through the next few days?! Let alone the next few months/years?! (can you tell i'm feeling a snad overwhelmed tonight? but in a good way!!)

food for thought... Mia is short for fem. Michal, meaning Who Resembles God. It is also short for Maria - meanings of "Star of the Sea", "Wished for a child" and "Sea of Bitterness". These are important as my brother's name is Michael and my grandmother's name is Marie. I've also found a separate definition of Mia. Meaning: Mine. Origin: Latin.

Middle name - ElainaMei. the first part is Elaine, which is my sister's middle name, and it means the same as my middle name, Ellen. I have a best friend Ellen. The name means "Light". May is a family name, and Mei is a Chinese version meaning "beautiful".

So, the idea behind her name was two-fold... one, try to give her my initials. silly, perhaps, but what i wanted. and two... to give her my family to be her family, in a familiar way. I also like the sentiment that she's "Mine".

I hope it fits and she doesn't hate it someday.



  1. I'm making my own comment, how about that?! It is exactly midnight, 18 months to the day of my LID.

    I'm a nut.

  2. I have been reading you blog for a while and I love it! I will have you in my prayers and in his hands ALL will be FINE! You will be a GREAT MOMMY. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

  3. Your comment on my blog cracked me up! I wanted to go back and edit my post to say, "Except Melissa... she get's to focus on TOMORROW when she sees her Mia's face for the first time!". I love how you chose her name. My poor Macey (derivative of Matthew) is going to have my mom's first name (Gail) as a middle name. Had to- mom is gone, and we only have one girl in this whole family of grandchildren (9 boys!). I am so happy she'll carry her name, though I know for sure she'll hate it the same way I hated my middle name (Ruth) after my grandma! Mia's whole name is gorgeous. I imagine she'll be very proud of it!

    Why can't it be today? I work tomorrow and I'll miss that post until I get home. I hope you get a surprise call dang it!! Take a Tylenol PM tonight, get good sleep so you can be focused Mommy!! Moms need their sleep!!

  4. Hey... do I have permission to post props to you? I want people to come and congratulate you, you so deserve it after this very long wait!

  5. I have visited your blog a lot but not sure if I ever commented. I needed to comment now b/c it brought up many of the feelings I had right before our son came home -- it's an amazing journey and I am so excited that your journey is about to come to the fun part -- raising your daughter with the beautiful and meaningful name. She will delight in hearing you explain all the loving thought that went into choosing it and the special meaning each name holds. Congratulations!


  6. I saw your agency's announcement too (that's a first for them!) since they are my agency too. They rock!! I feel all "nervy" for you over here! I assume you go through the Colorado office? Anyway. Can't wait to give a shout out for you!

  7. Italian connection, with Mia meaning: mine, belonging to me

    Mia is a possessive form in Italian and Spanish, and in some instances the name may be due to a misunderstanding of the Italian 'cara mia', "my dear", where 'mia' means "my".

    Mia is Italian, meaning 'my.'

    Mia is latin and italian for mine and in some cases 'my'.