Can't sleep

I'm sitting here wondering if I will be awake at the stroke of midnight, to see my little ladybug turn to 18 months. I can't sleep. I'm exhausted. But I'm anxious... mind doesn't want to stop thinking, especially about what this week holds.

I'm going to be a Mom. I'm going to have my very own daughter. WOW. I think that tonight it is starting to sink in... this wait has been SO long, that it seems surreal. I guess part of me wonders if it will even happen. I've jumped through all the hoops. I've waited the wait. I've even been patient.

If something goes wrong now, I just don't know what I'll do. And I can't even begin to think about all the mistakes I'm bound to make. oh heavens.

Please Lord, let it be..... good. All good.

I'm going to try to sleep again. How on earth am I going to get through the next few days?! Let alone the next few months/years?! (can you tell i'm feeling a snad overwhelmed tonight? but in a good way!!)

food for thought... Mia is short for fem. Michal, meaning Who Resembles God. It is also short for Maria - meanings of "Star of the Sea", "Wished for a child" and "Sea of Bitterness". These are important as my brother's name is Michael and my grandmother's name is Marie. I've also found a separate definition of Mia. Meaning: Mine. Origin: Latin.

Middle name - ElainaMei. the first part is Elaine, which is my sister's middle name, and it means the same as my middle name, Ellen. I have a best friend Ellen. The name means "Light". May is a family name, and Mei is a Chinese version meaning "beautiful".

So, the idea behind her name was two-fold... one, try to give her my initials. silly, perhaps, but what i wanted. and two... to give her my family to be her family, in a familiar way. I also like the sentiment that she's "Mine".

I hope it fits and she doesn't hate it someday.

Peace.