Thursday, August 23, 2007

Did you get her from a Foreign Country

Um... yeah. Does it matter? That was a question asked of me last night... did you get her from a foreign country. hm. oh well. i knew that was coming, right? it isn't a big deal, but it just strikes me as odd. Something that seems so normal to me, yet is always questioned...

Anyhow, I am so very cranky today. I've been thinking of writing for hours now, but if I would have written earlier it would have begun with a lot of 'f' words.

First, I couldn't sleep last night. Ok, what is new? (same goes for my being cranky, I realize.) I wish I could say that was all it was. Nope. Work really sucked today. There's so much I want to say, but I'm not going to.

I will say that I am very disappointed in people and I just feel like there are so many liars out there. People who really don't give a shit. People you think do, don't. I feel very alone. I believe God gave me Mia to not be alone. But one day... she'll leave me too. (yes, poor pity me) What was I thinking. (ok, besides the happy stuff that she's amazing...)

I'm pretty upset with my family right now. No, not Sis or Dad... some of the others. None are coming to Little M's party (for sure)...and that really makes me sad. Oh well. Par for the course. I guess it is too damn far to drive an hour to see her (us), as usual. You ask my sister how frustrated this makes me sometimes with our own relationship (when I do all the driving)... but she's been wonderful this year and she really loves Little M. I miss Sis and can't wait to see her this weekend. I almost called her today to beg her to come down NOW, but she's got stuff going on.

Do not worry. Do not be afraid. Easier said than done some days.



  1. I'm sorry someone asked you that question. Its so rude and I'm sorry you had to go through that.

    I'm also sorry that we won't be coming to you shower. We are all so busy this week. And this weekend is soooo busy! I hope it goes well. I love you both and can't wait so see you!!


  2. I got news for you, what happened yesterday is going to happen again eventually. Why? Mainly because some individuals are completely insensitive and acknowledge a racial difference when doing so is completely inconsequential and inappropriate. They may have not meant anything inflammatory by it, but it was impolite to ask. Also, when they ask about Mia's origins, say it PROUD! Not that you don't already, but show them a type enthusiasm that will let them know every fraction of her life is a blessing to you:) I think those of us who have followed your trek can say you have labored for this child more than others who become parents through more so called “traditional means.”

    Too bad about the family. Because they are family, they can disappoint much more so with lesser infractions than a stranger can with incendiary remarks. Maybe some one will surprise you.

    Well, the truth comes out: “Men SUCK.” O.K. That’s fine. But I want you to know that I’m bawling out hea’, ok? (boo-hoo, sniff-sniff) I don’t know what we ever did (sniff-sniff) to hurt you but, but,.....Oh God I can’t write anymore (boo-hoo, sniff- sniff, boo-hoo)! I’m too distraught:( I wont let this man bother you any more. Goodbye, Melissa, goodbye.........


    But you must have been having a bad day when you wrote that.

    Hey, didn't we agree to leave the potty fingers to the other blog? Not to mention the male bashing ;)


  3. Tom, I wasn't male bashing today. That was awhile ago. ha. ;-) And with your wit and sense of humor... surely there's a wanna-be-Mrs or a Mrs in your life. :) I'm so glad you write, because you just tickle me. (i can say that 'cause I live in the old KY)

    I realize people will ask questions like where is she from... it was just the *way* he asked. Odd. I was taken aback. It is weird, 'cause I just see her as my daughter now. Yes, I know she came from China, but... it is hard to explain. It's like she's always been here.

    She's been working on her swinging, too, so I hope you're practicing... she's ready to take you on!!

    Oh, and she's still trying to walk. My estimation that she'd do it by her 1 yr bday is apparently a little off, but she's close.

    I had to clean the potty mouth before writing, just for you!! hehe.


    ps. Thank you again for your prayers. I still need to get updates on Michael.

  4. Scoot over and let me sit down beside you on that pity party bench.

    I recently visited with family that lives away and I did something I hadn't done before. I whined about the adoption, the Wait, the lack of those who just don't have a clue with what we're going through, yada, yada, yada... Pretty much my first time ever doing that because I don't want to do it in front of Aly and cause her to feel "down".

    Geez - NEVER AGAIN - will I whine to the family. NEVER. I'm so sorry you are feeling all alone and I hope and wish and pray like crazy that they will be there for you in the near future.

    As for things on this end - it's me, Aly and Alyzabeth An and all those that care to follow along. And actually, we are blessed to have a group of family members that Do Get It and Do Care. Otherwise, we going it alone and the only Wine from me in the future will be poured from a bottle.

    And I'm not saying you're whining. I'm just saying I know how it feels when family seems to let you down...

  5. Wish I was there just to give you a hug and celebrate with you this weekend. I'm sorry your family keeps letting you down. Work does suck period.

    And Mia? She may one day move out, but she'll never leave- mom's and daughters rock. Wish I still had miine with me, even though there were times she drove me insance!

    Call me if you need to vent woman.

  6. Melissa, I'm so sorry your family is not very participatory (I'm not even sure that is even a word). It's amazing how the comments of some a**holes will roll right off of you, but family is much closer to your heart. I often feel disappointed with my in point, my best friend has been planning a birthday party for me for 2 months. My family (all of whom live with in 1-2 hours of here) has decided that they would drive to another location to celebrate. Celebrate what? The birthday girl is here!

    My best friend kindly reminded me that part of the joy of being an adult is being able to "pick" my own family. I have surrounded myself with extended family and am blessed that these people asked to be aunts and uncles to my MayLing when she gets home. I know it doesn't feel very good when you are in the middle of it, but I am praying that I get easier for you. Life is more difficult when you are being hit with problems from all sides.