Monday, July 16, 2007

offending people

I don't mean to offend people or my family, even. I guess I should keep my thoughts to myself about my worries and concerns.

Mia is still just a joy. I'll post pics soon. And mine, all mine.



  1. No you shouldn't! You didn't offend me and I am family! I was sympathizing with you. I know this hasn't been easy with you, especially with our family. We all love you so much and our so excited for you. I hope you weren't upset or offended by what I said.

    Love ya,

  2. Be patient. It's hard (I know), but be patient. Can anyone say worse than the comment (please don't explode now that I’m about to remind you) made by your ex-BIL? That was pure dementia. Other member of your family who love you and Mia will grow accustomed to how she entered the family without the word “adoption” coming into the picture. But you have to be patient.

    Sorry, no smart-aleck remarks to add today. But I will think of something...


  3. I don't think you were offensive, you were just making a point. It's sooo much trickier with family then with total strangers. You can't yell at your family without looking like a butthead....even if, like Tom mentioned, your ex-BIL would deserve a good yelling at. (and perhaps a smack in the head with a shovel?!) Hang in there. You're family will get the hang of it. From the comments it sounds like they all just adore you and Mia!

  4. Look I have a little cousin who is a biracial child from an unmarried cousin in the deep south. This child doesn't even know who is father is and he asked me who Glenys' father was at a reunion last year. Then he pointed out that she was Chinese, didn't I know that? Pot calling kettle was my thought.

    So family sometimes does the most damaging comments only because we think they should know better. I have an uncle who is also extremely racist but I am waiting for the comment about Glenys so I can blast him!!

    It happens everywhere with everyone. My mom told me to always assume they meant the best and sometimes it is hard to do. But do try to use these things as tools to educate too.

  5. The key is to not let your emotions squash the opportunity to educate. You know they meant well, so let those comments be your doors, and walk through them armed with knowledge and love, and teach them... do it for your girl... she'll appreciate it as she grows up and has to face these things herself.

    To Grandma, "Of course you are, she is your grandaughter"...

    and to your nephew- "I'm her real mom, her biological mom is in China and no, I don't know her..." or whatever to open that up.

    hang in there.